in. The Ghost of Barry Fairbrother. Maybe it really is him, posting on the message board?'
Gavin did not know whether this was meant as a joke, and settled for a slight smile that might be quickly removed.
'You know, I'd love to think that he's worrying about us, wherever he is; about me and the kids. But I doubt it. I'll bet he's still most worried about Krystal Weedon. Do you know what he'd probably say to me if he was here?'
She drained her glass. Gavin had not thought that he had mixed the gin very strong, but there were patches of high colour on her cheeks.
'No,' he said cautiously.
'He'd tell me that I've got support,' said Mary, and to Gavin's astonishment, he heard anger in the voice he always thought of as gentle. 'Yeah, he'd probably say, "You've got all the family and our friends and the kids to comfort you, but Krystal,"' Mary's voice was becoming louder, '"Krystal's got nobody to look out for her." D'you know what he spent our wedding anniversary doing?'
'No,' said Gavin again.
'Writing an article for the local paper about Krystal. Krystal and the Fields. The bloody Fields. If I never hear them mentioned again, it'll be too soon. I want another gin. I don't drink enough.'
Gavin picked up her glass automatically and returned to the drinks cupboard, stunned. He had always regarded her and Barry's marriage as literally perfect. Never had it occurred to him that Mary might be other than one hundred per cent approving of every venture and crusade with which the ever-busy Barry concerned himself.
'Rowing practice in the evenings, driving them to races at the weekends,' she said, over the tinkling of ice he was adding to her glass, 'and most nights he was on the computer, trying to get people to support him about the Fields, and getting stuff on the agenda for council meetings. And everyone always said, "Isn't Barry marvellous, the way he does it all, the way he volunteers, he's so involved with the community."' She took a big gulp of her fresh gin and tonic. 'Yes, marvellous. Absolutely marvellous. Until it killed him. All day long, on our wedding anniversary, struggling to meet that stupid deadline. They haven't even printed it yet.'
Gavin could not take his eyes off her. Anger and alcohol had restored colour to her face. She was sitting upright, instead of cowed and hunched over, as she had been recently.
'That's what killed him,' she said clearly, and her voice echoed a little in the kitchen. 'He gave everything to everybody. Except to me.'
Ever since Barry's funeral, Gavin had dwelled, with a sense of deep inadequacy, on the comparatively small gap that he was sure he would leave behind in his community, should he die. Looking at Mary, he wondered whether it would not be better to leave a huge hole in one person's heart. Had Barry not realized how Mary felt? Had he not realized how lucky he was?
The front door opened with a loud clatter, and he heard the sound of the four children coming in; voices and footsteps and the thumping of shoes and bags.
'Hi, Gav,' said eighteen-year-old Fergus, kissing his mother on top of her head. 'Are you drinking, Mum?'
'It's my fault,' said Gavin. 'Blame me.'
They were such nice kids, the Fairbrother kids. Gavin liked the way they talked to their mother, hugged her, chatted to each other and to him. They were open, polite and funny. He thought of Gaia, her vicious asides, silences like jagged glass, the snarling way she addressed him.
'Gav, we haven't even talked about the insurance,' said Mary, as the children surged around the kitchen, finding themselves drinks and snacks.
'It doesn't matter,' said Gavin, without thinking, before correcting himself hastily; 'shall we go through to the sitting room or ...?'
'Yes, let's.'
She wobbled a little getting down from the high kitchen stool, and he caught her arm again.
'Are you staying for dinner, Gav?' called Fergus.
'Do, if you want to,' said Mary.
A surge of warmth flooded him.
'I'd love to,' he said. 'Thanks.'
Part Three Chapter IV
IV
'Very sad,' said Howard Mollison, rocking a little on his toes in front of his mantelpiece. 'Very sad indeed.'
Maureen had just finished telling them all about Catherine Weedon's death; she had heard everything from her friend Karen the receptionist that evening, including the complaint from Cath Weedon's granddaughter. A look of delighted disapproval was crumpling her face; Samantha, who was in a very bad mood, thought she resembled a monkey nut. Miles was