understand why you’re upset with me.” She sighs, pacing. I want to tell her that she fucking needs to stay in one place because I can’t move. “You’ve been dodging my calls.”
I stare at her. I’m definitely not wasting my energy on explaining to her why I’m not going to sing with her or approve her book. More so when I can’t even fucking move.
“I’m not the bad guy. I was young.” She stops, staring at me.
“That’s your excuse for leaving your eighteen-month-old child?” The machine begins to beep.
Hayes enters right away. “Is everything okay?”
I raise an eyebrow. He points at the monitors. “Your heart rate increased.” He then looks at my mother. “Please keep it simple and don’t upset him.”
He closes the door and leans against it.
“I need to speak to him.” She stares at Hayes.
He crosses his arms. “Well, either you talk while I’m here or your turn is over.”
“You were giving me your excuse,” I prompt her.
“I never had an excuse. I legitimately didn’t like children. When you were born, I didn’t know what to do with you,” she explains. “My parents said it was my problem. I had money to hire a nanny. I did. Your father didn’t like it.”
“You cared what my father thought?”
“Listen, I was a kid. A twenty-year-old woman who liked to date older men. They didn’t do drama like the guys my own age. They treated me like a queen. In my circle, the men my age were stupid idiots who liked to pass the joint and the women they fucked. William was different. He was in his thirties and handsome.”
“That’s your excuse? You were young. Why not just give me up?” I look at Hayes, who shrugs.
“William wanted you. I liked to please him. But the asshole disappeared on me often.” She gives me a wicked smile. “When he realized I had a nanny watching you, he tried to take you away from me.”
“Why not let me go with him?”
“Just because I didn’t want to change your diapers doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I do. You’re my kid.” She says it with conviction.
Hayes scratches his head. “It doesn’t make sense. So, you had a custody battle?”
“Your father served me with the papers. I hired a lawyer who researched everything about your dad. He found a way to keep my son.”
“How?” I ask.
“As you know, William had five mistresses and a wife,” she answers, eyeing Hayes. “Before we countered the custody request, my lawyer, my manager, and I made sure he got caught with you. It served him right. All the lies crumbled within a day.”
“It was you?” Hayes stares at her, not upset but more like confused. “Why?”
“The man had six women—seven children. If he had been honest from the beginning, I might’ve been okay with his polygamy, or not. He didn’t give me an option—he wanted to take my kid away from me.”
“So, you forbid him to see me after that?”
“No, that was the crazy lawyer. Sarah, I think that’s her name. She suggested a hefty trust, paying child support, and…I really can’t remember what else she proposed. We all ended up with different arrangements. His wife is the one who proposed that you spend a week with him—so you could grow together. Mine included giving custody of you to my parents.”
I’m confused. There are so many questions swirling inside my head. “So, Grandma and Grandpa didn’t want me?”
“They did, but they also wanted me to be responsible. When the custody battle for you guys began, they accepted to take care of you. I wasn’t going to leave you with him.”
“But he wanted me,” I insist. Something about it makes things slightly different. It changes the narrative on how I used to see him.
“He did. We made sure he didn’t get any of you,” she says with an air of victory I don’t like.
“Why would you do that?” Hayes asks.
“I think it was the best way to make him pay for what he had done to us.”
“So, he didn’t abandon us?” I ask again.
“No, he was actually a good dad when he was around.”
“What is wrong with you?” My voice comes out harsh and the machines beep again.
Hayes looks at me and shakes his head. “I understand, but your health is more important. Maybe she should leave.”
“Listen, I can only speak for myself. I was in my early twenties, Beacon. Imagine yourself at that age trying to mend your broken heart while dealing with much older women. I…maybe I