invested to let anyone in.
Has anyone realized that she fears three things?
Emotional entanglements, people, and failure.
Hence her dating life sucks. My Grace needs someone who is patient and willing to learn how her mind, soul, and heart work.
Or…she can stay with me forever. I have ample knowledge on all things Grace related.
I don’t know how I’m going to handle the end when our time is over. It’s going to be hard as fuck to let her go. For now, I’ll focus on the present. I’m going to give her everything I have.
No holding back.
No reservations.
No restrictions.
And rules be damned.
That’s how I kiss her. Surrendering myself and my feelings. When the intensity of the kiss is about to break my self-control, I stop.
Though I’d love to do more than kiss the fuck out of her, I stop devouring her and work on evening my breathing.
“Please?” I add to the speech I gave her before I tried to suck her soul and steal her heart.
“How is this supposed to work?”
“Trust me, G,” I plead.
“Maybe I don’t trust myself,” she whispers in a low, raspy, sexy voice that sends logic flying out of the room.
I slant my mouth to hers and kiss the fuck out of her. I tease, taste, and claim her with my mouth. Her tongue meets mine, matching stroke for stroke. I lower my hands to her body and unzip her parka, pushing it out of the way. Something overtakes me. Desire surpasses reasoning. I have to have her. I need her.
Desperately, we begin to peel each other’s clothes. Fuck, she’s so beautiful. I run a finger along the soft skin of her throat, my lips follow right behind. I trace the outline of her breast.
“Beac,” she whispers.
“Do you want me to stop, G?”
“No. Yes.” She exhales harshly. “I don’t know. This is happening too fast.”
I pull her into a hug, pressing her bare skin against mine. I had no idea how much I had missed her until now.
“This isn’t what I came for,” she mumbles. “I just needed to know that you were okay.”
“There’s also the list,” I remind her, sliding my hand down her spine.
“It’s a bad idea?”
“The list or what we could be doing right now?”
I love that instead of pushing me away, she rests her head on my shoulder. Her arms are wrapped around my body and her hands rest on the elastic of my boxer briefs. I could persuade her and continue kissing her. Get reacquainted with her beautiful body.
Today isn’t the day to make love to her. She’s not even ready to proceed with her idea. If I make a mistake, this is over before it begins. I don’t have the luxury of losing her when she’s so close I can taste her.
“Go home, pack your stuff, and I should have everything ready when you come back, okay?” I say, making the decision for both of us. It’s not only her. I’m not in the right place to take this step. There’s a lot of stuff we have to clear before we can be like this again. “I’ll take you on a date when you’re back.”
“Should I remind you that I need more than just a date,” she states. “Today doesn’t count.”
I chuckle. She’s sobering up from the kiss. “Of course, you do. We’ll tackle that list while we date.”
“Are you serious about it? We’re dating?” She lifts her chin. Her gray eyes, filled with desire, stare at me confused.
“We are going steady.” I wink at her, picking up her long sleeve shirt. “We are doing this old school. I might even serenade you.”
“Okay?” I hate the hesitation and fear in her voice.
“Do you trust me, G?”
“Stop asking me that question,” she says with annoyance while we’re getting dressed. “You know that I do.”
“Then stop doubting me,” I state, trying to keep myself from arguing that she’s the one who came to me and opened the doors to having some sort of relationship.
Now, she doubts that this will work. She doubts me.
I should be hurt. I could tell her how I feel. How I’ve felt for years. I don’t. It has to come organically—when she’s ready. At some point during this exercise, she’s going to learn that I never joke when I tell her I’m hers. That I’ll be by her side forever.
She’ll understand that every time I say, “I’m yours, you make me happy, you’re all I need,” it’s the gospel truth.
This year I’m taking time off to finally have what I need.
Who