was he so eager to help them? He didn’t even have the money to do so.
“I’m trying like crazy to get enough money to buy that land by the river, and you’re here hoping to give it away,” she said.
“We don’t need to buy that land. Things are fine here,” said Min.
Oh, how she wanted to shake him! No, that wasn’t enough, thought Soo-Ja, how could that be enough, to just have enough to eat, when elsewhere there were cities in countries she longed to visit, different shades of blue in new skies and oceans, the sound of foreign tongues whistling by—a life where she could be a mother for more hours than she was a hotel manager.
“Is the price of the room worth my honor?” asked Min. “Is it worth going back on my word?”
“You should not have said anything to begin with,” Soo-Ja said.
“I don’t know of any other wives who treat their husbands like this,” said Min.
“Lucky is the wife who never had to argue with her husband about money,” she said.
“I want us to do well, too.”
“Do you? I hear the words coming out of your mouth. But I hear something else from every other part of your body. Even now, I think, you’re saying to these girls, I tried, but she won’t let me. It’s not my fault, it’s hers, she’s the one holding me back. When all my life I’ve waited for you to stand up and take charge. It is exhausting to me, all the fighting we have to do, just so you won’t feel bad about yourself.”
What happened after this happened so fast, Soo-Ja only fully registered it after the fact. And only later did she understand that the bottle was the same one left on the far side of the counter earlier in the day by Mr. Shim—she had been too shaken up to think to get rid of it. Later, with her eyes closed, she could slow the actions down enough to see Min reaching for the bottle and throwing it against the wall, the glass shattering and shards landing on the ground. Only later she could hear the girls shrieking and stepping back and some even putting their hands over their faces as Min was about to break the bottle. They knew what Min was about to do before she did; they had the benefit of seeing him as a stranger, while Soo-Ja’s sense of him had been dulled by their being together so long. These schoolgirls knew everything about him just by looking at him; she was used to unlearning him little by little, and she realized she knew him less year after year. Later, also, she saw the clear liquid splashing on the wall, gushing forth from the bottle, spreading out from the center. It made her think of Miss Hong, the chambermaid, of how sure she was that she and Min made love in the afternoons, and how he had come inside her, and how foolish that was. Later, too, she heard the cry Min let out at that moment, an odd, guttural, anguished cry—though she didn’t know if the cry came before or after the bottle exploded. She wondered how much pain you had to be in to cry out like that. But when all this happened, she did not see anything, did not think any of this. She simply felt a tug in her heart and thought, Where is Hana? I don’t want her to see this.
As Min made his way out, Soo-Ja wondered if he was going back to some sul-jib, to the arms of a barmaid. Or maybe he was going to meet Miss Hong at some agreed-upon place, where she would comfort him.
“I don’t know what time I’m going to come back,” said Min, with his back to her.
“All right,” said Soo-Ja, fighting back her tears. “Just one thing… Do whatever you want to do, with whomever you want. But don’t get any diseases and give them to me later.”
Min stood with his body very still, and Soo-Ja thought for a moment that he might turn around and strike her. Instead, he grabbed the front door with such fury she feared he’d yank it from the wall. He went out into the street, the door slamming shut behind him.
Soo-Ja remained still for a moment, collecting herself, and then she went inside the alcove, where she had been keeping the luggage of the Pearl Sisters fans. Without being urged, she brought their