really quiet. “So…something happen with Kevin?” His voice was tentative, like he knew the change in subject would ruin our nice conversation.
My eyes narrowed. “Wow, I guess I gave Kevin too much credit to assume he would keep his mouth shut.” Why did I give him any credit at all when he was lifting up my fiancée’s dress and fucking her the second I looked the other way? His disloyalty caused me far more heartbreak than her infidelity. We had been best friends since first grade, and that friendship meant nothing to him. He used to come to the cabin with us in the summer, came with us to the NASA center in Texas, went on vacation with us to the Caribbean, and all that ceased to matter the second he got his dick wet.
Ryan flinched at my reaction. “He didn’t say anything. What are you talking about?”
My eyes narrowed again. “Then what are you talking about?” Fuck, I shouldn’t have shown my hand so quickly.
“The guys told me they saw you talking while I was passed out. I hoped it went well since you didn’t wake me up.”
“You were out cold, man.”
He ignored the poppers and the beer and stared at me, serious and quiet. “So, what happened?”
“Doesn’t matter, Ryan. Let it go.”
He inhaled a deep breath and sighed. “You know I can’t let it go, man. Just tell me.”
“It’s not about us. It’s about you—”
“You guys are both my friends. I’d ask Kevin about it, but I’d rather ask you.”
I scanned the bar and looked for the exit even though I wouldn’t run. I couldn’t run from this.
“If this is a problem, I’ll cut Kevin. He doesn’t have—”
“No. This is why I hate Kevin even more, because if he’d just stayed the fuck away from me, we could have had a nice night and this conversation wouldn’t be happening right now. We’re grown-ass men, and we can be around each other to celebrate this moment with you. I told him off, and unless he’s a fucking idiot, he should stay away from me—so no more problems. It’s over.”
Ryan dropped his gaze for a moment.
“He’s a selfish asshole for making it about us and not you.” What a fucking prick.
Ryan lifted his gaze and looked at me. “I don’t think he’s a prick. I think he just couldn’t resist the opportunity to talk to you. He’s told me many times over the years that he regrets everything that happened, and he really misses having you as a friend. He said it hit him really hard a year after everything happened…that he lost not just his best friend, but his family.”
That meant nothing to me. “I’m really fucking sick of talking about Kevin.”
“How?” he asked. “We never talk about him.”
“He’s not someone I discuss. Period. It’s been ten years, and I’m happy he’s not in my life anymore. I regret that he was ever in my life to begin with. If I’d known what kind of jackass he was going to be, I wouldn’t have been his friend in the first place.”
Ryan stared at me for a while, like he didn’t know what to say. “I guess I can surmise what he said to you…”
“Just a bunch of bullshit I don’t want to hear. Told me he was getting married. If I weren’t happy with Emerson, I would hunt his fiancée down and fuck her brains out just to hurt him the way he hurt me.”
Ryan watched me, his eyes sympathetic. “No, you wouldn’t.”
“You’re wrong about that.”
“No, I’m not. You’re the best guy I know, and you would never do that—even if he did do it to you. I know you’re just angry right now.”
I dropped my chin and stared down at my beer. “Is this conversation over yet?”
“No, unfortunately.”
I sighed loudly.
“Look, Kevin and Tabitha both fucked up. They were wrong. They were…assholes. You have every right to be mad about the whole thing. Anyone would be. And you dodged a bullet not ending up with Tabitha and getting with Emerson instead.”
Emerson. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. Just the mention of her name calmed me down again.
“But…”
“Don’t you say that fucking word—”
“It’s been ten years, and they’re different people. I know Tabitha still regrets what she did. But Kevin…really regrets it. He always asks about you, always wants to know how you’re doing, asks if you would be receptive to another conversation. And I always tell him no. But he’s been just as miserable as