much as I should. I had no excuse. Dad never missed anything when we were growing up. He picked me up from school sometimes, didn’t use his laptop when we were at the cabin, and made it to every stupid extracurricular activity, even though they didn’t mean a damn thing in the grand scheme of things. “Then you can be there for Dad the way he’s always been there for us.”
Dex struck up a conversation with a pretty girl, so I walked home. He knew the code to get in the elevator, and I would leave the front door unlocked so he could walk in whenever he wanted. It wasn’t like security was an issue in the building.
I sat at the dining table with my laptop in front of me, the city lights bright outside the window. I was working on my book, wondering if Emerson would notice and text me, but it was Saturday night and she was probably spending her time with Lizzie.
I lost my train of thought about the story and looked at the blinking cursor, thinking about my conversation with Dex at the bar. Then I stared at my phone for a few seconds before I picked it up and made a call.
It only rang once before he answered. “Derek, everything alright?” Concern was in his voice since it was almost nine o’clock, too late for a casual phone call.
“I’m fine, Dad. I just… I’m sorry I haven’t spent as much time with you and Mom as I should.” Listening to Dex express his regrets when he was so much younger than me made me realize how selfish I’d been these last ten years, how all I cared about was work and forgetting my pain.
He was silent, like he had no idea what to say to that.
Being with Emerson made me recognize how everything prior to her was just a blur. It was great to be dedicated to my passion and care about something bigger than myself, but it was also wrong to lose sight of what actually mattered. I went out to lunch with my mom when she asked, got a beer with my dad when he asked, but that was the problem—they always asked. I never did. “I’ll be better from now on.”
He was still speechless.
“I’ll talk to you later, Dad.”
“Derek?”
I stayed on the line. “Yeah?”
“What brought this on?”
“You’ve always made us a priority, and I realized I haven’t done the same. You were just as busy as I am now, and that didn’t change anything.”
“But I’m your father, Derek. That’s my job. When you’re a father someday, you’ll prioritize your time too.”
“But I want to prioritize you now just the same.”
He turned quiet again. “You spent the last ten years starting your life. Don’t feel bad about that. But yes, we would both love to see you more. Nothing would make us happier. And nothing makes us happier than watching you be happy again, watching you be the thoughtful, affectionate, and selfless boy you used to be.”
8
Emerson
Lizzie and I sat at the dining table and had dinner together. She told me about school, her friends, and soccer practice. Chicken and rice was on the menu with a side of broccoli, and she didn’t complain about it.
“Good news. I found you a tutor.”
She looked up from her food, her eyebrows raised. “Mom, we both know that’s a waste of time. There’s no tutor on this earth that could help me understand all that mumbo jumbo.” She continued to eat. “Save your money, you know?”
“I think your experience will be different with this tutor.”
“Unlikely. Serious, Mom, we could spend that money on something useful…like cheeseburgers.”
“I don’t think that’s a good investment, Lizzie. I’d rather spend money on your education than anything else. But that doesn’t matter because this tutor is free.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “If someone does something for free, they can’t be that great.”
“It’s my boss.”
She almost dropped her fork. “Your boss offered to teach me?”
I nodded. “He’s an expert in all things math and science, so he’ll be able to get you to grasp all of this without any issues. He’ll be a major upgrade from all the tutors you’ve had before.”
“Why would he offer to do that?” she asked bluntly. “Isn’t he busy spending all his money on cheeseburgers?”
When she got older, she would realize her money would be sucked into rent, health insurance, and bills…and her money couldn’t be thrown at good meals. “He’s never too busy to help a student.