to bounce back. But with me, it’s always fresh. So when I talk about it, it’s like experiencing it all over again, like a goddamn motion picture in my head, and I just…don’t want to do it. My dad has the same problem, and it’s more of a curse than a blessing. He can remember entire days we spent together at the cabin when I was six, and when he’s having a bad day, he just plays that video in his head. But he also remembers all the bad things too.”
I’d never thought of that before, how having such a high intelligence would affect your life in so many negative ways. “That makes sense, Derek. I can’t even imagine.”
He stood there for a while, moving his hands to his hips, standing in his just his sweatpants and nothing else. He looked out the window for a while before he turned back to me, his eyes not as harsh as they were before. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. We’ve gone through this same scenario so many times, and you’re just trying to help me…and I act like an asshole.”
“You don’t act like an asshole, Derek.” When I saw my man come back to me, I felt the tightness in my chest evaporate. I loved this side of him, thoughtful and sensitive. “You’re upset. We do negative things when we’re upset.”
“But I shouldn’t do negative things to you… I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one who came over here—”
“Because you care about me. Because you love me. And I should be happy that you do that, not upset.”
And just like that, he swept me off my feet again.
He moved into me and wrapped his thick arms around me in an embrace, pulling me close and pressing a kiss to my hairline, smothering me with love that I could feel and didn’t need to hear with words.
I closed my eyes and rested my cheek against his chest.
Before he pulled away, he gave my neck a few kisses.
When his arms were gone, I suddenly felt cold. His touch made me higher than a kite, but his withdrawal made me feel so unhappy, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be happy again.
He moved to the couch and took a seat, leaning forward with his forearms on his knees.
I sat across from him and stared at his sexiness, that shadow along his jaw that was growing in thicker and thicker because he stopped shaving over the weekend, probably because he was in a sour mood. The veins all over his hard muscles of his arms and hands were like rivers…beautiful. “So, did you have a good time at all?”
He shrugged. “Some of the time.”
“Did Ryan have a good time?”
He nodded. “He did. Was already drunk when I got there. Didn’t make it to eleven, and then I threw him over my shoulder and took him home.”
“Wow, sounds like he had a great time.”
“Yeah, he did. That’s all that matters.” He massaged his knuckles as he looked down at his hands.
“Well, it’s over now, right?”
He shrugged.
“You guys just hung out at the bar the whole time?”
“Yeah. There were about twelve of us.”
“Did you know all of them?”
“About half. The rest of the guys were people he knew from work or Camille’s brother.”
“Did you get a lot of free drinks?”
He stilled at my question before he shook his head. “No.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “You went to a bar and paid for your drinks?”
“Yes, I paid for my drinks.” He lifted his gaze and looked at me.
I’d never been in a relationship before, so I didn’t know if I was the jealous type or not, but with Derek, I wasn’t. I knew he was drop-dead gorgeous and got ass handed to him left and right. But I also knew how committed and loyal he was, so I wasn’t worried that some bombshell would lick his neck and ask to suck his dick in the bathroom. He could have that lifestyle if he wanted to, but he clearly didn’t because he wanted to be with me. I suspected he was lying but didn’t want to upset me. It was an honorable thing to do. “I’m not the jealous type, just so you know.”
He studied me, like he was trying to decipher what I meant.
“Derek, you’re literally the sexiest man alive. I know women are going to hit on you the second I’m not around. It doesn’t bother me.”
He was quiet for a long time, holding my gaze. “That’s interesting. Because if