jangling outside the door, and when he comes in, he takes a look at the empty bottles strewn around the room, my three-day stubble, and gives a disgusted sigh.
Am I really that repulsive?
“Sterling, I know things are shit right now, but would it kill you to spend five minutes every day cleaning up after yourself?”
“It’s nice to see you, too.”
It’s not really his fault, but Cyrus is now my most frequent reminder of worthless, moneyed Valmont. And the one thing that made it important for us to get along—sharing a living arrangement—is going away. Not that Cyrus knows it yet.
“Fine. How are you? You look like shit.”
“Not great. Did you hear anything from Poppy?” I can practically feel my interest in talking to Adair burn away. I can’t imagine trying to carry out a long-distance relationship with a girl whose family represents the ongoing destruction of my life.
“Not what you want to hear, man. Adair isn’t interested in meeting. Sorry.”
That’s one sign that’s clear as day. Adair and I are over. Cy and Poppy keep saying to give it time, but what’s going to change between now and whenever Adair decides she’s up for seeing me? How long am I supposed to wait? Still, it will make half of my new rule that much easier. If Adair decided her life would be better with her family calling the shots, it’ll make it that much sweeter when she sees how wrong she is someday.
“I do have stuff for you, though,” Cyrus continues. He tosses a stack of envelopes, probably from our mail cubby in the dorm office, onto my desk.
Second from the top is a notice from the Valmont registrar’s office, its cellophane window cutout displaying a garish pink packet of paper inside. I rip open the top of the envelope, getting a paper cut for my trouble. It reads:
Pursuant to the administrative action rescinding your scholarship for violations of Valmont University’s Code of Student Conduct, your account balance is now ($29,872). If the balance is not paid in full within one week of the date indicated on this notice, your student status will be put on probation pending payment.. This change in status may endanger your housing and educational privileges…
I don’t bother reading the rest. I check the date at the top of the letter, realizing it was marked two days ago. So I have 5 days before they kick me out of school. Less time than I thought.
“Nothing printed on that color of paper is good news. You ok?” Cyrus looks nervous, which just pisses me off more. I don’t want his pity or sympathy. Even his nice gestures—letting Francie and I have the suite for Thanksgiving—ended up being shitty for me. I already feel lighter, just from unloading the burden of having to play at being friends.
“Nothing you need to worry about,” I say, picking up the nearly empty bottles of whiskey and vodka scattered around my bed. I won’t be needing them anymore.
“Whatever. Have a nice day.” He’s done with me, too. Cyrus turns to go, his eyes landing on the stack of mail on my desk. For a moment I’m sure he’s going to say something stupid like: It’s not very much money for me. Let me give you $30k so my third Valmont residence is less depressing for me. But he gives up trying, probably because, thick as he is, he knows I don’t want to hear it.
I pull a couple of legal pads out of my desk and toss them in my bag. I need to head to the library to do research. The U.S. has 4 major armed forces, and I need to figure out which one offers the best terms for tuition payment, and which will give me the chance to gain the kind of skills that will be useful later. I ignore the tiny voice warning me this will break Francie’s heart. I refuse to acknowledge the smug satisfaction this will give Angus MacLaine. But when I imagine Adair, sitting alone, full of regret, wondering how she got stuck here, I almost smile.
9
Adair
I get ready for class three days in a row.
On the first, I never make it out the front door of Windfall. On the second, I drive all the way to campus and circle the building for ten minutes straight, trying to see if Sterling is waiting for me to show up. But I get cold feet and go home where I find a small, wrapped package wedged between