life behind?”
My throat bobs as I consider his question. “I don’t know,” I whisper my shameful secret and look to my Prez—my brother. My savior. “What if I can’t walk away?”
Priest stares at me for long moments before he nods to Patch and Bullet. I vaguely hear the scrapes of their chairs against the floor, followed by the door being opened and closed.
“You ready to talk to me yet? Or are you going to avoid me some more?” His voice is gentle yet firm. It’s the same one he uses when he’s getting onto Leo, and I feel every bit the chastised child sitting before him now.
My attempt to rein in my anger fails dismally. “You really wanna do this right now? Fine!” I explode. “I mean, what do you want me to say, King? That I fucked up and lost the only good thing in my life? I did, okay! I fucking lost hi—” I can’t get the last word out.
Priest stares at me with a stony expression. “You finished?” he asks calmly, and the fight drains out of me.
“He left me.” My voice breaks, mirroring the jagged cracks in my heart.
“I know. He came and talked to me before.”
My head shoots up so I can narrow my eyes on him.
“He came to you… before?” Before what? What the fuck is he talking about? How could he know what was going to happen and not warn me? Fuck that—how could he not talk Jax into staying with me?
A thought hits me and I flinch. Oh. God. Please. Fucking please. Tell me it can’t be true.
“Did you… did you tell him to leave me?” I can hardly get the words out through the tightening of my throat as the possibility of his betrayal makes its way through my system.
“I didn’t tell him to leave you, Maddox—” My body sags in relief but immediately refills with anger when he hesitates. “But… he came to me for my opinion, and I told him the truth. He deserves that much.”
My nostrils flare. “So you told him all my dark and dirty secrets?” I sneer. “Opened the closet door and pulled out all my skeletons?” I shake my head, the movement short and jerky. “You had no right!” I grind through clenched teeth. “No fucking right, King.”
He holds his hands up. “I didn’t tell him a single thing about that, and you damn well know I would never do that to you, Maddox, so don’t fucking insult me,” he growls.
“What else would I think?” The fight drains from my body. “What… what did he ask you?” Fuckfuckfuck. My mind and my heart are completely at war. Do I really want to know this?
“He asked if I thought he was wasting his time with you. If you would ever be with him the way he wants,” he responds.
Like a knife, his words pierce my skin, slicing their way into the tender flesh of my heart. He thought he was wasting his time with me. Is that what I am now, a waste of time?
And what does that even mean—be with him the way he wants. We were together… committed. And yeah, there were times that I backed off and did my own thing for a while, but it was never long before I was back with him. I scoff. How he wants? Fuck that. At least we were together then, it’s a lot more than what we are now.
“So is that what I was, then? A waste of time?” He doesn’t miss the bitterness in my tone.
“You know that’s not what he meant, Maddox.”
“No? Then what did he mean? Because brother, from where I’m sitting, there’s no other way to take that.”
Priest seems to consider his words for several moments before speaking. “Maddox, I need to know what you want from me right now,” he says with finality, and my head jerks back.
“What do you mean?”
He scrubs a rough hand over his face. “You know I will never lie to you… But I need to know what you want from me right now. Do you want me to be on your side—for all of us to hate on Jax and curse his name”—he hesitates—“or do you want me to tell you the truth, Maddox? You need to know that if you choose the truth, it’s going to hurt like hell, and it’s not going to be easy,” he warns.
My eyes fall closed. Fuck. This is it. We’re finally here. The fear inside me is screaming