tried touching you the way I want.”
A loud snort escaped Ezra to hide the way Declan stole his breath. He couldn’t let Declan destroy him right now. Ezra had nothing left to give. “You’re so full of yourself. I’m not sick because of you and I won’t get well just because you’ve decided you’ll pity-screw me.”
Declan’s eyes fell closed, as if Ezra made him tired. When he focused on Ezra again, he looked so sad, Ezra’s heart twisted. As Ezra looked on, Declan’s features hardened. “All right. I’ve had enough of this. Bitterness doesn’t suit you. I get that it’s my fault, but that’s enough.” Without warning, Declan crawled onto the bed, straddled Ezra’s body, and kissed him.
In his shock, Ezra didn’t immediately respond. Then his heart took control. Declan was the only man Ezra had ever loved or truly wanted. A teenage crush had grown and twisted until Declan was the only body he pictured, no matter how many men he took to bed. Ezra opened his mouth over Declan’s bottom lip and sucked. Declan gasped and then took control. His tongue stroked Ezra’s. The world disappeared along with Ezra’s anger. Declan’s kiss was so much better than Ezra ever imagined. It was pure skill and reverence. Ezra’s eyes stung. He felt loved.
“I need to take care of you. Please let me take care of you,” Declan begged between kisses.
“I don’t like white bread.”
Ezra felt Declan smile against his lips. “You’re so spoiled. I’ll bring you the jar of peanut butter and you can eat it with a spoon.”
“You can put your dick in it since you’re so convinced that I’ll break.”
Declan buried his face against Ezra’s chest and roared with laughter. Ezra stole his chance to run his fingers through Declan’s hair. His throat unexpectedly swelled. “You said you love me.” The words came out sounding strangled.
Declan’s laughter died. His gaze locked on Ezra. “You know I do.”
“No. I don’t. I don’t know that anyone loves me anymore, especially me.” Ezra’s voice broke on the confession. His eyes burned. He hated himself for his weakness, but Ezra was very tired of himself. Some people loved themselves so naturally and openly. Ezra had to fight to tolerate his reflection every single day. It was exhausting. He didn’t want to fight anymore.
By the time Ezra fell asleep, Declan felt like someone had beaten his ass. Unfortunately, the night wasn’t over for him yet. This wasn’t the first time he had battled this disease with Ezra. At sixteen, Ezra had nearly died from this. Declan refused to let this ugly thing get its claws in Ezra again. Thankfully, Declan still recalled all the ways he had helped Ezra fight last time. He got to work. First, he searched the house, throwing out everything that hindered recovery: the bathroom scales, diet products, and magazines with all the dumb diet tips. Next, he went through Ezra’s kitchen and made a note of everything he needed so he could place a delivery order. Finally, he tackled the biggest liars in the house—the mirrors.
With everything finally finished, Declan sank onto the couch. His hands shook. Every time he thought about Ezra collapsing, he wanted to wake Ezra and feed him again. Declan hated this. Even though—logically—he knew eating disorders were forms of mental illness that he had no control over, he felt responsible. He had always known Ezra was more fragile than other people. That hadn’t stopped him from pushing Ezra. While he had never purposely risked Ezra’s health with his bullshit, he also hadn’t kept his distance to spare Ezra. Declan couldn’t stay away. That wasn’t even an option for him. That meant Declan had to make a choice: Jessie or Ezra. Declan touched his lips. He could still feel Ezra’s kiss. There was no turning back from that kiss without completely destroying Ezra, so it seemed his choice had been made while his brain hadn’t been working. Fuck. He didn’t have the mental spoons to face that tonight. For now, he had to work on healing Ezra and let tomorrow take care of itself.
The flat box from earlier caught his attention. It was on the floor with the corner chewed away. With a groan, Declan went after it. It seemed Ezra had praised Icarus for not chewing up his house a little too soon. As he lifted the box, he realized it was already open, which made sense when he thought about it. Jessie and Ezra were like all the uber rich; they