little to make it through the night yet. While he walked in circles with the dog, he tried not to think about anything too heavy. Maybe one day he would get a dog too. Back when his mom died and he had gone to live with Jessie, Ezra had fallen in love with Declan’s huge Rottweiler, Lucifer. Unfortunately, after Lucifer died, Ezra hadn’t wanted another full-time pet. Sitting with Lucifer while the vet put him to sleep had broken Ezra. It was too much loss too soon after losing his mom. He hadn’t told Declan that, since he hadn’t wanted Declan to have to be the one who sat with Lucifer while he died. Sometimes, life was just too heavy for Ezra. He didn’t know how to be all things for everyone, but he wanted to make everyone happy. It was too bad that no one felt the same about him. Ezra was always alone, silently dying with no one to hold his hand.
Once Icarus had done all he was willing to do, Ezra turned back toward the house. He found Declan leaned in the doorway waiting.
“I’ll install a doggie door so he can go out back when he wants.”
Ezra wanted to point out Icarus and Declan didn’t live there, but he had just considered getting a dog himself. In the end, it wasn’t a big enough issue to argue about. “If that’s what you want. The backyard is fenced in. My only issue would be the pool. I don’t want him to fall in and drown.”
“I’ll get one of those pet ramps too, so he can get out if he finds himself in the water. We should probably add one of those pet watcher cameras too, as some extra protection.”
Ezra shrugged. “Like I said, it’s whatever you want to do.”
Declan stooped and took off the puppy’s leash, setting him free in the house. Icarus immediately hightailed it to his water bowl, making Ezra bite back a sigh. No doubt he would want to go out again soon. Ezra headed back to bed with Declan on his heels.
“I expected you to put up more of a fight at my suggestions.”
Ezra climbed beneath the covers. His gaze never quite met Declan’s. “No one ever cares what I want. I learned a long time ago to save my voice.”
While Ezra watched with his tongue glued to roof of his mouth, Declan stripped down to his underwear and climbed into bed. “I care what you want.”
“Then go home and leave me in peace.”
Declan didn’t as much as blink. “Are you at peace when I’m not around?”
“No.”
To Ezra’s surprise, Declan didn’t show an ounce of triumph over Ezra’s immediate answer. “Then I’m sorry, angel, but I can’t go home.”
Ezra didn’t have the strength to argue. “Do you plan to sleep here from now on or are you waiting on me to assign you a room?”
Declan’s gaze moved over Ezra’s face as if reading his every reaction. “I’m a big boy. I could find a room for myself if I wanted, but I won’t. This is my spot now.”
Great. Ezra wasn’t to be trusted to be alone, it seemed. “When you buy Icarus all his stuff for the backyard, get him a little staircase for the bed too. That way we don’t have to lift him into bed every time he wants in.”
Declan smiled. “That I can do.”
Ezra would take it as a win, since Declan had already said he didn’t want Icarus on the furniture. At least his desires weren’t being completely discounted. He would take what he could get for now. “Did you sneak a peek at my latest magazine spread when I fell asleep?”
“Yes.”
The unabashed way Declan copped to snooping had Ezra biting back a grin. “And?”
Declan took a ragged-sounding breath. “For real, you fuck with my head. I’ve never wanted anyone more.”
Ezra tried not to be moved. “You can have it, if you want. The magazine, that is. I likely won’t ever look at it.”
A smile exploded across Declan’s face. “You know I will.”
Unexpectedly, Ezra’s throat tightened. “You used to be my best friend.” The confession came out in a harsh-sounding whisper.
Declan’s smile disappeared. “Am I not anymore?”
Ezra shook his head. “You stopped trying a long time ago.”
Declan blew out a shaky breath. “You definitely know how to always punch me in the heart.”
“Am I wrong?”
Declan rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “No. I don’t know how to be just your friend anymore.” He turned his head and