One
Shaking permeated Ezra’s bones. The Back Porch, Ezra’s favorite coffeehouse, was packed with people. Ezra should have been burning up from all the combined body heat, but no. Even in a thick sweatshirt with Sherpa lining, Ezra was freezing. It was as if ice had settled into his soul. Maybe it had. Since Christmas Eve five weeks ago, Ezra felt dead. He just kept moving and smiling despite his non-living status. Hell, he was even serving coffee at The Back Porch to help his friend, Wrecker. If that wasn’t trying, Ezra didn’t know what was.
Ezra’s brother Jessie had gotten married the day after Christmas, stealing away Wrecker’s best employee. Even though Jessie had sent Wrecker some temporary help to cover the loss, no one ever worked out. So Ezra would throw himself into things, taking orders and delivering piping hot cups of coffee. He didn’t accept tips and refused to let Wrecker pay him. Ezra didn’t work here. He just needed to keep moving because he was cold. Ezra wondered if this was how zombies felt. If they were a real thing, that is.
While trying to keep warm, Ezra moved from table to table, checking on Wrecker’s customers. At some point, he lost his smile and just kept moving. Ezra couldn’t stand still. If he did, he would think about Declan. All roads always led back to Declan. Ezra swallowed a growl. There Declan was again, invading his mind without permission. At fifteen, Ezra’s mom had passed. While she had been a wild woman who loved men and life, she had always been an awesome mom. Then she was gone. Ezra found his life uprooted. Living with his bother Jessie might have saved him in some ways during his time of need, but it had also killed him another way—Declan McDaniel.
Declan had been Jessie’s bodyguard since shortly after Jessie hit it big when he was a teen. Declan was massive. He took up too much space. Declan was the perfect size to keep Jessie safe from tons of adoring fans. He was also Ezra’s biggest secret. Ezra loved him. Always had. It was a love that slowly killed Ezra until he ended up where he was now—cold and alone.
“You have to try this cake I made.”
Ezra pulled himself from his depression long enough to focus on Wrecker.
Wrecker was sweet and he cared. Ezra could see Wrecker’s concern written in his every feature. Even though he smiled, Wrecker looked tense. It was all Ezra’s fault. Ezra couldn’t seem to shake the sadness anymore. He had moved beyond the ability to hide it. “Thank you. Maybe I’ll take some home with me.”
Wrecker’s sweet smile slipped away. He snagged Ezra’s arm and hauled him in a for a hug. “I wish you would talk to me.” Wrecker was huge and warm. He made Ezra wish he could feel anything through the darkness coating his brain.
Ezra snuggled close to Wrecker’s chest. His pale hand looked even paler and fragile while resting on Wrecker’s dark bicep. Wrecker was the real reason his coffeehouse was always packed. He was muscular and sexy as sin. Gay men flocked the building, looking for any shot with the ex-linebacker. But if Wrecker ever took anyone home, Ezra never saw it. He was content in being a successful businessman. Ezra wished he had that spark for life. Hell, he wished he cared about anything at all anymore. He just didn’t.
“You shouldn’t worry so much about me. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time now.”
“I know,” Wrecker said, kissing the top of Ezra’s head. “But I know you liked having Theo living with you, and now he’s married your brother, and you’re having to adjust to an empty house again. I just wish you’d come stay with me or something. Let me take care of you for a while. God knows you’re always doing a lot for me.”
Ezra patted Wrecker’s arm and pulled away. His throat felt tight. His bones were cold. He needed to get moving again. “Seriously. I’m fine.”
The deep line between Wrecker’s eyebrows said he didn’t believe a word leaving Ezra’s lips. He picked up the chocolate cake he had been trying to get Ezra to try all night. “Then take one bite of this cake. Don’t insult my cooking by refusing.”
With a faked smile, Ezra grabbed the fork and scooped up a bite. He forced the food into his mouth by sheer will. His stomach heaved. “Yum,” Ezra said around the bite while trying not