cut in before I could take Gage. I looked over my shoulder at him, my brow raised. “Maybe leave Gage with the manny for a little bit, give him some practice, and go check on your man.”
“He’s not—”
“Fucking humor me,” Shake cut in, nodding toward the front door.
He didn’t say anything else, but I heard it in the silence, anyway.
He needs you.
“Fuck,” I cursed, my feet itching as I bounced on my toes, eager to go and find him.
Too deep.
You’re in too deep.
I was. It was like I could feel his pain in my own chest, and I would do anything to take that away. Shotgun had rules. He had beliefs and expectations. There were boundaries I liked to push the limits on a fairly regular basis, and Shotgun liked to remind me of that in the best fucking way.
I quickly turned my attention to Adrian, who was already waving me off. “Hey, you’re good. You go. I have time to get to know this little dude,” he explained with a warm smile before it transformed into a smirk. “And at the same time, the big dude over there can give me the third degree.”
Shake wasn’t as impressed, but he let it pass as I eased back into the hallway and made a beeline for the front door.
The gravel outside the clubhouse crunched underneath my feet as I jogged across the entrance and into the clubhouse, heading straight up the stairs. I didn’t even bother to knock, pressing Shotgun’s door open and instantly hearing the shower running in the bathroom.
I pushed the door closed behind me and flicked the lock before letting the sound of water trickling draw me in. My hand on the handle, I peeked in, and for a second, my tongue was tied.
Watching this amazing man stand underneath the water, the liquid trickling down his tanned skin was like my eye caught sight of one single drip, and I couldn’t help but move in closer as I followed it down the curves of his body.
Licking my lips, I stepped inside the bathroom, slowly pushing the door closed. “Hey,” I announced, moving in closer and unbuttoning my jeans. The movement caught his eye, and he paused, fingers halting as they were threaded through his hair, dragging it back from his face while he watched me slowly unzip my pants. “How’d it g—”
“Don’t.” My hand paused, my heart with it. “Get undressed.”
The order was clear.
He turned away again, leaning into the water and letting his head hang, the spray hitting the back of his neck and dripping down his back. I made quick work of my clothes, knowing exactly what he needed right now, and both my heart and body were eager to give him exactly that.
He needed control.
His world was spinning.
His axis tilted.
And he needed to bring that shit back into line again. Maybe not perfectly, maybe not even anywhere near close to where he needed it to be, but I knew I could give him some semblance of it to help him find his feet and head again.
All I had to do was give in.
Give him control.
Completely naked, I pulled the door open, waiting for a few seconds before he reached back for me. His fingers circled my wrist, gently tugging me inside. The water hit me, and I gasped, suddenly realizing it was ice cold. “Shit,” I stuttered, the spray covering me from head to toe as he pushed me through the heavy stream until my back hit the wall.
“I should have done something,” Shotgun answered, moving forward and pinning me there, closing his eyes as he tilted his face up into the spray of water. Holding it there for a second before he flicked his head, shaking off the water and taking a breath.
“You didn’t know,” I tried to reassure him, blocking out the cold and reaching for his chest.
A deep growl in his throat told me to stop.
“I should have known!” he roared, making me jump for a second before he shook his head, droplets of water flying from the long black hair that lined the center of his head. “It’s my job to know. It’s my job to protect the people around me. And I failed her. I failed my fucking child’s mother. I have to tell him that I didn’t do my job.”
My heart hurt.
It wasn’t his fault.
He couldn’t know everything. He couldn’t see everything.
But in his mind, he had failed, and now he was spiraling. He needed to find his footing