needed to run for help.
“It’s… okay…” I hissed through each wheezy breath, my heart thumping so slow but so hard that I thought any moment it could fucking stop. “I just need to get out of here,” I muttered, forcing my shaking legs to carry me toward the swinging doors.
“Avery, stop! Just sit down,” Meyah pleaded, following me out, her voice full of concern watching me falter and catch myself several times. “Shotgun, do something!”
“Avery!”
I stumbled to a stop at the bottom of the staircase. The way he said my name was like an arrow straight to my heart. A heart that right now couldn’t take any more hurt and was running scared. It was a difficult pill to swallow knowing that there were people trying to love you, trying to care for you, just like you craved someone always fucking would. But anytime they get too close, your first reaction is to shove them away.
I knew things with Shotgun were deeper than I had felt before. What I didn’t know was how natural it was to act like I was his old lady. How natural it felt to stand at his side or to have his back. Or how other people had begun to see it too.
“I need to go out.”
He made his way down the stairs. “Go where?”
“Anywhere,” I said sternly, tucking my shaking hands underneath my arms. “Please.”
His grip on the banister of the stairs was strong, the veins under his skin popping through, making it look like he could rip the damn thing off at any moment. “You going for good?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
Was I?
What really was the plan here?
Like usual, I didn’t fucking have one. My feet itched, my heart raced, and the voice in my head just screamed run.
“Kid goes with you.”
“Shotgu—”
“Listen,” he growled, making his way down the stairs toward me. Maybe I should have been afraid, the narrowed glare in his eyes was predatory and locked onto me. I stood my ground, my heart still racing and my breathing heavy as he drew closer until our bodies were just inches apart. “I’ll give you what you need. You want time out? Fine. Take it. But Kid goes with you because the club still—”
“Owns me,” I snapped, gritting my teeth.
“Has your fucking back.”
The look in his eyes, it almost had me. It almost caught me. Because it wasn’t enough that my fear was destroying me, it was seeing it destroy him too.
That was the level of pain I hadn’t experienced before.
That was new.
“Go,” he ordered, pointing at the open door. His eyes locked on mine, and for the first time ever, it made me second-guess everything. “Go, Avery.”
And as I stumbled out the door, Kid rushed to my side, and I thought I heard something else.
Just come back.
AVERY
“Come on, Avery,” Kid groaned, stomping along behind me. “I’m not prepared for hiking.”
I powered through, like each footstep was a memory, the desert sand shifting beneath my feet as we wound our way up the path. I knew just how deep to dig my feet and where parts of the track were harder than others.
The small hill bordered the edge of our old neighborhood. It was just far enough out so we couldn’t get lost or eaten by coyotes, but close enough that Micah and I could walk there from our house when we were kids.
While most of the local kids used the area for climbing and exploring this particular track we had made ourselves, everyone had known it was ours.
Our special spot.
And the place that now also housed a tiny cross that I dedicated to her.
The path ended, opening into a small round area that had a couple of rocks, just the right height to sit at, our names scribbled over and over and around the red-colored mounds. The little wooden cross jabbed into the ground at the foot of them was on a slight lean, my body instantly sagging to the ground in front of it.
Hey, Mich.
I reached out, straightening the tiny cross, leaning it back against the rocks.
Kid took a seat on the rock beside me, and I leaned my head against his leg. “Tell me about her.”
I instantly smiled. Just the thought of being able to share her beauty, her smarts, and funny jokes with someone new excited me. I wanted everyone to know who she was, what she was like, how just her laughter could light up the world. “Micah was that one girl everyone wanted to be friends with,” I started,