noticed, these boys aren’t the biggest fans of the hospital system.” There was a slight catch in her voice, and I suddenly realized that Shotgun wasn’t the only one hurting.
“Geez, Meyah, I’m such a fucking idiot,” I scolded myself, reaching across and grabbing her hand. She let out a laugh, but at the same time, the flood of tears released with it, and she quickly dabbed at them with her sleeve. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “It’s just a shock, I think,” she whispered softly, her eyes staring off into the future. “It wasn’t like we were besties or anything, but Emma, she was one of the good ones. And to think not only was she in trouble and we didn’t help, but that she felt as though going through that alone was a better option than just coming to one of us.”
“People do strange things when they’re scared.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, meeting my gaze, the soft look in her eyes sharpening quickly. “Don’t be one of them.”
It was like a punch in the gut, and now I was unable to turn away, to look away, to hide.
“He’s going to need you. Someone strong. Someone who’s going to step up and not run away.” I wasn’t sure if she knew who she was talking to because I wasn’t exactly known for being the stable one. “If you can’t be that person for him, then walk away.”
Ah, there it was.
Technically, Meyah was the top old lady here at the club, so it was up to her to set the record straight when it came to women messing with her men. She had been here since the club in Phoenix was created. She had grown up within the Brothers by Blood MC. It was in her blood and ingrained deep within her heart to protect these men at all costs.
“When it comes to raising children inside the club, these men need someone to have their back,” Meyah continued, her voice stern but gentle as though she was trying to give me the facts but without scaring me off. “They love hard, they make the most amazing fathers, but there isn’t going to be any dress-ups and coochie coos. That’s all private for them. At the clubhouse, there is a certain way they need to be. Need to act. This is their job, and it’s our job to support them, so they can do that.”
My heart was beating faster.
My leg bouncing under the table.
Shotgun was strong, but she was right, he would need support. He is the leader here. He has so much shit on his shoulders already, and he hasn’t even had the regular nine months to prepare for what his life might look like. It’d just been thrown at him, and for a man who likes to control shit like he does, this is going to throw him.
I licked my lips, already feeling a little tingle shooting up my spine, one I knew well and was desperately trying to fight. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m not exactly old lady material. What I did out there…”
I talked back.
I called him out.
In front of his brothers.
In front of people who weren’t a part of the club.
I had disrespected him.
She laughed softly, leaning back in her seat. “You definitely weren’t subtle about your feelings toward the situation. But it was what he needed to hear. And that, my dear, is why he is in so fucking deep with you. These men don’t want an old who sits down and shuts the hell up. They want an old lady who isn’t afraid to call them out when they get stuck in their head.”
I shook my head, the denial still very real.
“They want an old lady who will help them make those hard decisions and have their back after.”
Hearing her talk again and again about him wanting me was stirring something in my stomach that made me scramble from my seat and run for the kitchen sink. My gut twisted, and what it thought was me about to be sick was actually me fighting against my own body’s natural urge to breathe.
Struggling to suck in a deep breath of air.
A panic attack.
Fight it!
Just run, get the hell out of there.
You’re in too deep.
You care too much.
If you don’t walk away now, this might be the one you don’t survive.
“Avery…” Meyah murmured with a deep concern. She was looking toward the doors, probably wondering if she should talk to me through it or if she