to move closer to me. He stops a couple of steps away and continues, “but thank you for loving me.”
Oh, God.
Kill me now.
He must see the embarrassment on my face because he darts forward and takes hold of my hand. Holding it in both of his, he corrects himself, “I don’t mean it that way. Fuck.” He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, then says, “It means a lot to me, Mila. I want you to know I’ll watch myself around you, so I don’t hurt you unintentionally. I’ll never take your love for granted, and… I just need time to figure out my own emotions because...” he pulls an awkward face, “there’s an obvious attraction between us. I won’t deny that, but I just don’t want it to split our group right down the middle.”
Everything he says makes sense, and even though my chest is filled with disappointment, I have to face the fact that Jase is right.
The risk is too significant if he doesn’t love me back. It’s either everything or just friendship.
“So let’s just go back to being friends minus the flirting,” I offer.
“That would be great.” He hesitates for a moment, then asks, “Can I hug you.”
I force a smile to my face. “Of course, dumbass. Don’t start being weird around me now.”
When his arms wrap around me, I struggle to hold my tears of disappointment back but somehow manage.
At least you didn’t lose him. Count your blessings, Mila.
For a moment, I allow myself to cling to Jase as I force my love for him back into the deepest part of my heart.
He tightens his arms around me and whispers, “I’m sorry I lost control earlier.”
I nod against his shoulder, swallowing hard.
“And I do care for you. You’re one of my favorite people.”
I nod again, and pressing my lips together, I breathe deeply through my nose.
God, this hurts so much more than I thought it would.
Jase pulls back, and his eyes search over my face, then he asks, “You want to go have dinner? You didn’t eat earlier because I was an asshole.”
I let out a burst of air, and the chuckle sounds hopeless. Shaking my head, I point to my laptop. “I have work to finish.”
“Okay.” He hesitates again but then turns around and walks out of my room.
Why did he have to take my heart with him?
Chapter 8
JASE
Even though I’ve spoken with Mila, everything keeps feeling like an epic clusterfuck.
It’s been three days since the explosion, and I’m nowhere near getting any clarity on my emotions. I can’t deny the attraction I feel for Mila, but damn, it’s just not enough.
‘Do you love her?’ my heart whispers.
“It’s not worth risking everything,” my mind warns.
I shut my eyes for a moment, and once again, I push the question to the farthest corner of my mind.
Fuck, this is hard.
“You okay?” Hunter asks, and it makes my eyes dart to him.
We’re supposed to be watching Jeopardy on TV and betting on the winner, but somewhere along the line, my mind returned to Mila.
I clear my throat before I answer, “Yeah, I’m just tired.”
Luckily it’s a believable lie seeing as we went out last night and only got back in the early hours of the morning.
It’s the first time Mila didn’t go with us because she spent the weekend at her parents’ place.
And she’s not back yet.
Getting up, I stretch out and say, “I’m going to bed. Catch you tomorrow.”
“Night,” Hunter answers, and then he reaches for Jade, where she’s asleep against his side so he can carry her to bed.
Walking down the hallway, I glance into Mila’s room, and the fact that she’s not in there bothers me.
Usually, I wouldn’t hesitate to message her to find out when she’ll be home.
Fuck, will we ever get back to the point where I will feel comfortable doing that?
Entering my room, I shut the door, and then I yank my shirt off and drop down on my bed. I close my eyes, and in the privacy of my personal space, I allow my thoughts to turn to Mila.
‘You’re willing to risk everything for them.’ My grandfather’s words echo through my mind.
Am I?
God, it’s such an impossible question to answer. I don’t know if I’ll be able to risk CRC Holdings for anyone. It will mean failing my family and closest friends.
Fuck.
I have my little sister, Carla, and my cousins’ futures to think of. There’s also Hana, Hunter, and his sister, Aria. The pressure of being the next CEO weighs