around my chest. I need protection and walls. I need everything I can get when I’m dealing with Asher.
“No?” he repeats.
“No.”
He pushes the tray to the side and grabs my forearm, shoving it down in front of me. His nose nearly touches mine as he speaks, his tone low and threatening. “You can make this easy or hard, my ugly monster.”
“What does it matter when you’re going to kill me?” I wish my voice were full of contempt and anger or the stabbing betrayal. Instead, it’s almost like resignation to a cruel fate.
This is karma biting me in the ass for stealing Reina’s life and throwing her under the bus.
I had to fall for her psycho fiancé just so he’d plan to kill me.
Wait…no. I didn’t fall for Asher. I can totally get over him.
Right?
“Since when did you become such a coward?” He’s still in my face, so when he speaks, I smell sandalwood and citrus, and I feel his pulse about to join my erratic one.
His words hit me harder than they should. My ears heat and everything in me revolts against it.
I’m not a coward; I’m a fighter.
I fought all this time, didn’t I? With Mom and with Reina and then with Dad and without him. I’m still fighting. I’m still trying to chase the gloomy cloud away.
Cowards don’t do that.
Ever.
“Screw you.” I push him away and jump from the bed then storm to the balcony’s door.
The moment I slide it open, a gust of strong wind slaps me in the face. Wind is good. Wind is as angry as I feel and as lost, too, never sure where to settle or how to go about it.
There are two chairs and a table at the far end of the balcony. I hop on the chair and then onto the table near the edge just as Asher stalks out after me.
I’m facing him, one leg planted on the railing’s edge and the other on the table. We’re at least thirty stories high. If I fall, I’ll die.
Everything will fucking end.
I shake the gloomy thoughts away and face Asher.
He freezes in the doorway, shoving both hands in his pockets, and I can almost swear he fists them. “What the fuck are you doing, Reina?”
“That’s the thing, Ash. I was never Reina.”
“What?”
“My name is Rai Sokolov and I’m Reina’s twin sister. I switched places with her when we were twelve. After Mom kidnapped her, we took each other’s identity. She went with the Russian mafia that chased me and I came to live with Dad.” I don’t know why I’m telling him all this, but now that I’ve started, I can’t stop. “I’m not from your world. I’m just a runaway, a nobody who couldn’t save her own sister. So if you want to kill me for whatever the fuck I did to you, stop playing games and do it already. Or let me do it for you—I don’t care anymore.”
The whole time I’ve been talking, Asher has been slowly approaching me, gradually removing both hands from his pockets.
I should’ve focused on that and on the fact that he’s probably coming to make what I asked reality.
My limbs shake and my leg keeps approaching the edge. The strong wind hits me in the bones, my teeth chatter, and a full-body tremor takes me over.
“Come down from there, Reina.” Asher’s order is slow but firm enough to make my heart jump.
“Didn’t you hear a word I said? I told you I’m not Reina. I’m an imposter.”
“I don’t give a fuck about your name. You’re the only Reina I know.” He reaches out his hand. “Come the fuck down.”
I eye him suspiciously. “Don’t you want me dead?”
“Come down. Now.” His face becomes closed off like he’s an entirely different person, almost as if he’s camouflaging something.
Then I recognize that somber look in his eyes.
Fear.
Pure, raw fear.
He doesn’t want me to jump.
Why the hell is my heart thumping at that?
Stop it. Don’t celebrate. Don’t you dare celebrate.
“If…” I clear my throat. “If you don’t want me dead just yet, can you let me search for my sister first? I’ll do whatever you want once I find her.”
He says nothing.
“Please…” I soften my voice.
He grabs me by the wrist and pulls me down so hard I shriek, thinking I’ll topple over the edge.
Instead, I land in the midst of strong arms. Steel limbs crush me to his chest, his embrace nearly suffocating and yet so…warm.
Asher is warm when he chooses to be. It’s just that