lie. Everyone isn’t fine. I’m a fucking disaster.”
I set my wine on the table. “What’s going on? You’re making me nervous.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry.” After a minute, he got up and moved to the couch next to me. He took one of my hands in his.
I attempted to hide the jolt his touch sent through my body by staring down at our joined hands.
Eventually, Ford put two fingers under my chin and lifted so our eyes met. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Just say whatever is on your mind.”
The two fingers he’d used to lift my chin were still resting beneath it. His thumb reached up and stroked my cheek, tenderly. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I closed my eyes. I wanted to hear those words more than anything, but I was afraid to believe they meant more than they did. The last month had been so hard, and I didn’t want to go backwards.
Ford squeezed my hand. “When I went to Chicago, I found out my father had been having an affair.”
“What? How?”
“It’s a long story, but basically, the real estate agent mentioned a few things that didn’t add up—like meeting my mom a few times when I knew she’d never been to Chicago.” He shrugged. “I followed a trail and wound up face to face with a woman my father had been with for years.”
My forehead wrinkled. “But that doesn’t make any sense. Your parents were the happiest people I knew. They were so in love.”
He nodded and let out a hefty sigh. ‘That’s what I thought, too. But apparently, my father had some sort of midlife crisis—thought he was missing out on something better since he didn’t know what else was out there. He’d been with my mom since high school.”
We fell silent. I needed to let what he’d said sink in. It seemed unimaginable that either of his happy parents had cheated. But I suppose some people would have said the same thing about my marriage.
“Are you sure?”
He shrugged. “She admitted it. It went on for years.”
While the news was mind-blowing, I had to wonder why he hadn’t told me before now. Of course Ryan had been home when Ford returned from his trip, but we’d spent that last night together and had plenty of time to talk.
Then it hit me, the words he’d used. Things started to click into place.
My dad thought he was missing out on something better since he didn’t know what else was out there. They’d been together since high school.
I’d been telling Ford all summer how I needed to experience life because I didn’t know what else was out there. Finding out about his father must’ve made him think the same thing would happen between us if we didn’t separate.
I looked up into his sad eyes. “I didn’t want things to end. I tried to tell you that on our last night together.”
He nodded. “I know. But I thought that was how it had to be. Thought maybe next summer…after you’d had some time.”
“You wanted me to date until next summer?”
He scoffed. “Fuck, no. But I thought that was the way it had to be…what was best for you.”
I shook my head, afraid to ask the question. “And now? Do you still think that’s the way it has to be?”
“It probably should be.” He paused for a long time and then looked so deeply into my eyes, I felt him inside of me. “But I’m so damn in love with you, I just can’t.”
Tears filled my eyes. “You love me?”
“I loved you almost from the beginning. It just took me a while to admit it to myself because you were so sure we shouldn’t be together.”
“I was afraid to get hurt again. I thought if we physically stayed apart, my heart wouldn’t get broken. But being physically separated doesn’t mean your heart can let go.”
Ford took a deep breath in and seemed to brace himself. “Are you and Mark…together?”
I shook my head. “No. Not at all. I went to dinner with him, Allison, and Desiree. He just gave me a ride home.”
“And the guy the other night?”
“What guy?”
“The one Eve posted on Instagram?”
“That’s her weekend manager. It was taken a year or two ago on his birthday, and we’d just sung to him after the restaurant closed. He’s happily married with four daughters. I don’t even know why she posted it the other day. It was so random.”
Ford let out a long whoosh of air and ran his fingers through