find somewhere to sit. Two people in a quieter corner were getting up, so we stood nearby to snag the table.
Just as we got seated, a burst of laughter erupted throughout the bar. It was the third time it had happened since we walked in—it sounded like everyone had just listened to the same joke, but we weren’t in on it. Our table had an iPad mounted on it, and we soon realized what everyone was snickering over. There was a bar-wide game of trivia going on—sex trivia, to be specific.
A waitress walked over and put down two coasters and napkins. “Just drinks or would you like to see a bar menu?”
“Just drinks.” Ford held up his full beer. “But we’re all set for now.”
“If you want in on the next game, there’s a twenty-dollar entry fee. The last game just finished up, so the new one should start in a few minutes. Winner splits the kitty fifty-fifty with the bar. We do it every summer as a breast cancer fundraiser—a hundred percent of the bar’s cut is donated.”
Ford dug a wad of cash out of his pocket and handed her a twenty. “We’re in.”
When the waitress walked away, he looked at me. “Think you’re better at sex trivia than me?”
Who would claim not to be better at such a game? “Of course.”
He grinned. “How about a small side bet, then?”
“What are we betting?”
He rubbed his chin. “If I win, you go out on a real date with me—one where I take you to a nice restaurant and you don’t pretend it’s not a date.”
“And if I win?”
“That’s a hard one. A date with me could work as your prize, too.”
I shook my head. “So full of yourself.”
He stood to put his cash back into his front pocket. “Alright. How about this? If I win, you go out on a date with me. If you win, I’ll fix your squeaky back sliding doors.”
“They are squeaky, aren’t they?”
“Your hardware is rusted. You need to change it out every few years. Mine needs to be done, too.”
I stuck out my hand. How could I lose? “You have a deal. That squeak drives me nuts.”
***
What is the average length of an erect penis?
I felt my cheeks flush as I read the answers. The choices were:
A. 4.9 to 5.5 inches long
B. 5.5 to 6.2 inches long
C. 6.2 to 7.0 inches long
D. 8.7 to 9.5 inches long
Without thinking, I had spread my thumb and pointer out for a visual of what six inches looked like. When I looked up, Ford arched his brow.
“I’d offer you a measuring stick. But I’m not average.”
His grin was so wicked, and he looked like he wanted to eat me alive.
I squirmed in my seat. “Ummm. I’m going to go with A.”
“For manhood’s sake, I’d like to say the answer is D. But I read this somewhere once, and I think it’s actually B.”
We’d decided to put my answers into the iPad so the computer could track one of our scores, but we kept his tally separate. So far, we were five questions in and he’d gotten three right, I’d gotten one right, and we’d both gotten one wrong.
The giant screens flashed the answer, and another point went to Ford. He flashed a smug smile.
“I got it wrong,” I said. “But I’m not disappointed to find out the average male is larger than I’d guessed.”
Ford winked. “You won’t be disappointed when you see mine either, beautiful.”
Jesus. I definitely needed another glass of wine.
A few minutes later, the next question appeared on the screen:
How many nerve endings does the clitoris have?
Oh Lord. It felt like about a gazillion at the moment.
The choices were:
A. 22
B. 310
C. 1,000
D. 8,000
We were both surprised to find out the answer was D. Well, no wonder.
Ford caught our waitress to order me another wine and declined a refill of his half-empty beer since he was driving.
I read the next question on the screen and shook my head. “Is this a setup? Are you friends with the owner and had him put up these questions when we got here or something?”
Ford looked down to read the question.
At what age does a woman reach her sexual peak?
He looked up. “I fucking love this game.”
I laughed and read the answers aloud:
A. 18
B. 25
C. 38
D. 45
Without consulting with me, Ford reached over and pressed C for our answer.
“I thought we were putting in my guesses?”
“Were you actually planning on picking something else?”
Ford’s phone buzzed on the table. We looked down and