I was about to sign off and go to bed, an instant message popped up on the bottom of my screen. I didn’t even know you could send those. Donovan620 from New York City wrote: Ryan is my middle name. Am I disqualified?
I’d forgotten to change the part of my profile that said my ideal match was not named Ryan, having been too focused on removing the part about favoritism shown to those nicknamed Cunnilingus King. Although, it was probably just as well since the thought of calling another man Ryan after so many years with my husband was just too odd to me. Plus, it was also my son’s name.
When I didn’t respond in a few minutes, another message popped up.
Donovan620: Really? I’m vetoed because of a middle name? I can probably get it legally changed if it works out. Although, my grandfather might be upset.
His message made me laugh, so I typed back.
Val44: I actually think Ryan as a middle name would be fine, so long as you would stipulate to abbreviate it in your signature and not introduce yourself utilizing it.
Donovan620: If anyone you meet on here introduces himself using his first, middle, and last name, you should delete him immediately. That’s just weird.
Val44: You’re probably right.
Donovan620: I get that a lot. So…why so anti-Ryan, Valentina D?
He’d used my full name, which meant he must have checked out my profile. Curiously, I clicked on his. There was only one picture, although it definitely caught my attention. He was mid air, jumping off a high-dive board, and the photo was taken from the ground. His knees were tucked and his arms wrapped around them as he cannonballed into a pool. It was almost the same profile pic as my photo, except he was, of course, a man. I looked closer—Donovan620 was definitely a man, with some amazing muscular arms wrapped around his knees. Even his calf muscles bulged in the shot.
Another message popped up. I hadn’t responded to his question about the name Ryan.
Donovan620: Are you busy checking out my profile or ignoring me?
Val44: Ignoring you.
Donovan620: Well, you’re not very good at it seeing as you just responded.
He made me smile again. So I ’fessed up.
Val44: I might have been checking out your profile. Did you notice anything interesting about our profile pictures?
Donovan620: That’s what caught my attention. Any woman who cannonballs is worth changing my middle name for.
Donovan was witty. I liked him. And maybe, just maybe, his muscles were nice, too. I refilled my wine glass.
Donovan620: That wasn’t the only coincidence. Go ahead, check me out fully.
Clicking back to his profile, I continued to read.
Age: 25
My ideal match: Old enough to know better, young enough to not give a fuck. Smart. Loves the outdoors and simple things in life—like taking the scenic route when driving.
Val44: Did you just add that to your ideal match?
Donovan620: Nope.
Val44: Well, it seems as though we have a few things in common. It’s too bad I don’t meet the rest of your criteria.
Donovan620: What part?
Val44: While I’m definitely old enough to know better, it seems I do give a fuck.
Donovan620: I’ll overlook your sensibility, seeing as you’ve dealt with my unfortunate middle name.
Val44: That’s very kind of you. But we have another problem—one I’m afraid we won’t be able to get past.
Donovan620: And that is…
Val44: You’re too young for me. You’re twenty-five. I’m thirty-seven.
Donovan620: Your profile states that your ideal match is between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-eight.
Val44: My friend wrote that. I’ve recently updated it to over 35.
Donovan620: Is she a good friend?
Val44: Yes. Why?
Donovan620: Then you should listen to her. She knows you and probably knows what she’s talking about.
Val44: Yes, but—
His next message popped up before I could finish.
Donovan620: Age is only a number. What’s important is you’re obviously young at heart since you still cannonball, and you’d choose the scenic route over the faster freeway. Don’t say no just yet. Talk to me for a while. See if we connect. Then decide.
Val44: I don’t know, Donovan. I had a child at a young age. My son is not that much younger than you.
Donovan620: A week. Come on. This is my first experience on Match, and you don’t want to ruin that for me. The outcome of this could scar me for life if it goes sideways.
I thought about it for a while. I wasn’t planning on meeting him in person during that time.
Val44: Is it really your first experience on here?
Donovan620: I swear. You can check