me. We were winning, so I kept my mouth shut and made a list of questions to ask later.
‘We’ll need a couple of things before we head out,’ I said.
‘More weapons,’ Nicky, Bram, and Ares said at the same time.
I actually blushed a little. ‘I thought that went without saying.’ I turned to Al. ‘Where can we buy the biggest dog collar you can find, and a good leash?’
‘Why do you need it? Is he dangerous off leash in cat form?’
‘No, but we’re about to go into the woods with a bunch of spooked and tired armed men. Off leash he’s a big, black, predatory cat; I don’t want anyone shooting Nathaniel by accident. With me holding his leash they’ll adjust to the idea that he’s helping with the search and rescue like a dog.’
‘We don’t need to buy a collar or a leash,’ Nathaniel said.
‘I think Anita is right,’ Al said. ‘You on a leash will help everyone adjust to you helping out.’
‘It’s not that,’ Nathaniel said.
‘You brought yours,’ I said.
He nodded, managing to look both happy and shy about it. Asher and I had bought it for him. Asher, who had been Jean-Claude’s second-in-command, his témoin, which was the word for a second in an old French-style duel. Asher of the golden hair and the angelic face and the devil’s own temper. Asher had been Nathaniel’s dominant and my top when we played bondage games, but that was before Asher was exiled to another city for behaving like a spoiled, insanely jealous centuries-old master vampire. The collar had been mostly Asher’s idea, but Nathaniel loved wearing it. He said it made him feel safe and loved. Me, a collar and leash would just piss me off, but what makes your lovers feel loved doesn’t always have to make sense to you, only to them. Some women feel loved if you do the dishes without being reminded; some men feel loved if you’ll play a video game with them, others if you buy them a collar and a nice leash and occasionally lead them around by it.
Micah smiled and shook his head. ‘I’m not sure I’m going to feel up to helping you use it.’
Nathaniel gave him a solemn face, touching his arm. ‘I know that, Micah. It makes me feel better to have it with me, that’s all.’
Micah smiled and looked a little puzzled. I think Micah understood Nathaniel’s enjoyment of the collar and leash even less than I did; at least I liked to be topped in the bedroom, and he didn’t. He let Jean-Claude take blood from him, and to donate blood you had to be willing to submit. I actually found the two of them together incredibly erotic and proved it more than once, but I’d never asked Micah how he felt about the submission. It hadn’t occurred me to ask until this moment. Of course, this was probably not the time to ask; uh, no.
‘Is it in the bags in the SUV or the ones back at the hotel?’ I asked.
‘I’m not sure what bags are where. I didn’t divide them up,’ Nathaniel said.
‘Which bag was it in?’ Ares asked.
‘If I say the small black one, will that help?’ He smiled when he said it.
Ares shook his head, smiling, too. ‘No.’
‘Let’s check the back, and if it’s not there we’ll hit the hotel,’ Nicky said.
We all agreed it sounded like a plan, but that meant we had to leave Micah at the hospital. It seemed wrong to leave him behind to deal with his dad and everything. He touched my face. ‘It’s okay, Anita. I’ve got this.’
I hugged him, putting our faces close together and our bodies closer, so that we fit against each other like puzzle pieces. I breathed in the closeness of him, let my body sink against his, and felt him do the same. We held each other, and I said, ‘I love you.’
‘I love you more,’ he said back.
Nathaniel came up beside us, wrapping his arms around both of us, so that we all leaned into one another. ‘I love you most.’ We opened our arms and drew him in to us, so that the three of us fit together and held one another for a moment.
It was Micah who moved away first. ‘Go, I’ll be all right.’
We each had one of his hands in ours. I nodded and let go of him. Nathaniel held on a moment longer.
‘Be careful,’ Micah said. He turned to Nicky. ‘All of you,’ and