movies, the park, and everything in-between. I want to show her my world while I explore hers. I want to work side by side with her, and share each satisfaction and failure with her. I want to know that she trusts me just as much as I trust her. I want her to have my heart, and to tenderly hold hers in return.
I love her.
So, so much.
The traffic starts moving again, and I move through it on autopilot, making sure to focus completely on the road so that I don’t have to think too deeply about what I just realized. It should be a happy thing, but it isn’t.
Because Opal doesn’t, couldn’t love me back, not after everything. At most, we’ve become friends. Before, I wanted to confess to her. But now I know that I can’t, not now. This feeling weighs heavily on my heart, but I have to tuck it away where it can’t hurt either of us.
Finally, I reach Opal’s apartment. My nerves have been swept away by a coldness that seeps through me, and I find myself mentally preparing for what I’m about to hear from her. I’m only fooling myself, though. I know what she’s going to say.
I barely remember the trip upstairs. Before long, I’m staring at her door, willing myself to reach out and knock on it. Opal is just behind it, waiting for me.
I reach out and knock.
The door swings open almost immediately, as though Opal was waiting for me. For a long moment, we stare at each other. Opal looks pale again, strengthening my thoughts that the bug wouldn’t just go away so quickly. She’s dressed, again, in comfortable clothes, and her hair looks like she’s run her hand through it several times.
“Jason, you came,” she says.
“Of course,” I say with a nod. “Can I come in?”
Opal nods rapidly and steps aside. She seems oddly nervous, her fingers twisting in the hem of her shirt and her eyes darting around the room. It’s an unusual emotion on her face, one that I didn’t expect to see. I expected sadness, anger, frustration, or even guilt.
But not this anxiety.
“Is everything alright?” I ask with a frown.
“I... No,” she says after a long moment. “Not really. I guess you were wondering what the doctor said yesterday?”
I’m not going to lie, I had wondered, of course.
“It’s fine,” I say, shaking my head, pushing away the curiosity. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“Well, a…test result came back today, and it was positive,” Opal says, as if I never spoke. “So…so I know what’s been causing my condition.”
I feel a spike of worry.
“Are you okay?” I ask urgently.
Opal laughs. It sounds slightly hysterical.
“I’m pregnant,” she says.
It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I stare at her blankly.
“What?” I ask.
“Pregnant,” she repeats. “I’m pregnant.”
And, abruptly, the world returns to sharp focus. Pregnant? Opal’s pregnant? That would explain her symptoms. Stupidly, I wonder who the father is.
Then I mentally kick myself. Opal has slept with me three times in recent weeks. Without protection. And I’m the one she’s telling.
I’m going to be a father.
I’m moving before I even know it, overwhelmed. I’m shocked, of course, and amazed, but there’s an astonishing, blazing happiness in my chest that I can’t deny, either, because I’ve always wanted children, and Opal is right in front of me, telling me she’s giving me everything I’ve ever wanted…
It isn’t until Opal shoves me back that I realize that I am, was, kissing her. She’s panting.
“I… Sorry,” I say, trying to catch my breath.
“No, it’s okay,” she says, shaking her head. “Look, can we…talk about this?”
I force my head on straight. Right, talk, yes. I’m doing neither Opal nor myself any favors by rushing this. Opal must be overwhelmed and terrified right now. She probably didn’t expect to discover that she’s carrying her boss’s baby. Dimly, I remember that all the times we had sex were so rushed that we never once considered protection of any kind.
It was stupid, we’re not horny teenagers anymore, but we forgot and now this has happened. We’re bringing a baby into the world. I’m going to have a son or daughter.
I’m going to have a son or daughter with my secretary, who has made it very clear, in the past, that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with me.
Fuck.
I will my racing heart to slow down. Too fast, way too fast. I shouldn’t even be thinking about relationships right now. The most