and all potential employers will wonder why I didn’t ask a senior staff member of McNamara Enterprises to speak on my behalf. Without the assurance that I actually completed my training here, because I don’t trust Sandra to put in a good word for me, there isn’t any business owner who would hire me unless they were equally disreputable.
For a moment, I really wish that I had just kept quiet and compliant like the others. If I had done that, surely I would have had a future after this internship. Now there’s absolutely no chance. My best bet is to find a low-level position somewhere, build up a repertoire, and try and get in the back door that way.
Frustration rises in me, and I’m swept away almost immediately by shame and self-recrimination. If I had been just a little less stubborn…
I shake my head. It doesn’t matter anymore. Regardless of what happens here, I’m going to need another job as soon as this internship ends, no matter where it is. I can’t pay for my apartment with air, and I still need to pay off my car.
Without a steady job, there’s no way I’ll be able to stay in Los Angeles. I was stubborn enough to move here without any support from my family, who are all the way back in Montana, and that’s where I’ll end up returning if I don’t move quickly.
Still, I have no intention of leaving Los Angeles unless I’m forced to. I knew, from the moment I left school, that this is where I want to be. I scrimped and saved every bit of money I could from my part-time job, using those funds to make my way here and get myself onto a college campus. From there, I forged my way through my school years and came out knowing that I had a bright future ahead of me.
Now, it’s hard to believe that I’ll be facing the utter decimation of every dream and hope I had.
Maybe I’m being a little dramatic. I don’t know for certain that I’ve lost anything other than the coveted position at McNamara Enterprises. Maybe this is just a new step in my life on a journey that has taken an unexpected turn. Yet, it’s hard to think about anything other than what my own determination has caused me to endure now.
I draw in a deep breath and make my way to my desk, ignoring the way Paula’s eyes shoot to me with a small smirk. I have no doubt that she knows, exactly, what Sandra has written on her report. It doesn’t matter.
I’ve always been the type to keep moving forward, no matter what. That’s exactly what I’ll continue to do.
Chapter Five
Opal
By the time I got to work the next day, any depression and shame had completely disappeared in the wave of indignation and fury that burned through me.
For a moment, yesterday, I had fallen into the trap of believing that this is my fault. But, as I thought more about it and remembered the complete lies that Sandra has written in her report, it slowly dawned on me that I didn’t do anything wrong. All I did was work hard and prove that I was the best at my job, but that scared Sandra who thought Paula was a shoo-in for the position. In a last-ditch effort to ensure that her niece had no rivals, Sandra had lied on a professional document.
I know, by now, that the report has been submitted. After all, the choice will be made this afternoon and HR needs time to carefully consider all the reports Sandra has written. There’s no way to try and stop it now, but I don’t think I would have been able to even if I’d had the time.
But the helplessness that had befallen me yesterday has completely disappeared. I’m angry. I might not be able to do anything about it, but I have every intention of fighting it. As soon as the choice is made, as soon as Paula’s name is inevitably called out, I’m heading straight to the top. If I have to barge in on Harold McNamara himself, I will make sure my voice is heard.
I keep my face clear and blank as I put my bag on my desk. The air around the office is subdued; everyone knows that today is the day when we split apart. It’s sad because the lack of any real rivalry meant that the only thing we could do was