pillows. We slide underneath the covers, and my heart bursts with warmth when Opal presses into me and closes her eyes, exhausted.
I close my eyes, as well, hoping to follow her example.
However, hours later, I’m still awake. I can feel Opal lying beside me, pressed along my side with her head on my shoulder. I’m so tired, but my mind is whirring. No matter what I do, I can’t quiet my thoughts enough to sleep.
Part of me can’t believe what just happened between Opal and me. We’ve gone weeks without touching one another. We’ve managed to work together in the workplace and be friendly without even thinking about trying to get in one another’s pants.
Yet all it takes is one kiss.
I turn my head to look at her. In sleep, Opal’s face is calm and content. I wonder what it will look like in the morning when she wakes up, and we’re forced to face one another.
It isn’t like we haven’t done this before. But it feels different this time. Tonight, we slept together in Opal’s apartment, in her bed, and that makes the whole thing feel so much more intimate than a quick fuck in the back room of a bar or in my office.
I’m not even sure what prompted it this time. All I did was make a fruit salad for Opal. Was she that grateful? But, no, that doesn’t make sense.
It’s frustrating. I’ve spent all this time convincing myself that Opal and I will never work. I came up to her apartment this afternoon just so she could reject me and I could move on. But then something like this happens once more, and I’m even more confused about where we stand.
I close my eyes. We’re going to have to talk about this eventually, I know. But…
I glance at Opal again. There was something strange about the way she threw herself at me. Slowly, I think back to that moment, now that my mind isn’t clouded with desire. There was an odd desperation in her actions.
It wasn’t like the last times we had sex, when we were both just using the feelings we provoked in one another to stop the rollercoaster of emotions we don’t want to name. But what sparked it this time? Opal had been quiet since we got back from the doctor, since she told me that she wasn’t feeling as bad.
I suddenly realize she’d been too quiet.
Is she upset that I’m here, after all? Would she have preferred one of her friends to come to her rescue and take her to the doctor? Yet she had seemed genuinely happy to see me when I first showed up.
It’s all far too confusing right now. I’m still wrestling with my own feelings for Opal as well as the eventual rejection I’m certain I’m going to face, and things like this aren’t helping with that. I just need to remind myself that there is nothing to it for her. Maybe there are some feelings involving me…but, for Opal, I know that it’s just purely physical.
And I’m okay with that. She’s made it clear, from the very beginning, that she doesn’t want to get too close to me. We’ve been getting along better, lately, but that isn’t the basis for a relationship.
I shake myself. None of that matters right now. Regardless of anything else, there is definitely something very wrong with Opal. I don’t want to leave it at this, but I also have no idea what to do next. Do I ask, or do I leave it be? Do I even have any right to pry into her business any more than I’ve already done?
At the end of the day, whatever is going on in Opal’s life has nothing to do with me. That’s a more painful thought than I thought it would be, but it’s true. I sigh and settle down.
I’ll ask her if she’s okay in the morning. And I’ll just have to accept whatever answer she decides to give me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Opal
In the morning, I open my eyes. Instantly, I know that I’m alone, but I’m not surprised. Jason and I are going to have to encounter one another eventually, and it would be so much more awkward to do so while we’re both still naked and in bed.
I glance at the clock. It’s still early. It would normally be around now that I’d be starting to get up for work. That explains why I can hear the shower running.
Slowly, I pull myself out