I peeked at him and saw that he was staring at me with his head tilted curiously. “What do you want?”
“Did you even have a plan when you ran off?” he asked. “Where are you going? Do you even have a place to go?”
I snarled and wiped at the fresh tears on my face before they froze solid on my skin. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s no mystery that you’re very upset,” he said quietly as he sat beside me. “And your Guardian’s presence is nowhere to be felt. That is not a good sign.”
“Well, it’s nothing,” I snapped, and turned my gaze to the ground. “And you can go away now.”
“I don’t think so.”
“That was an order. I wasn’t asking for your opinion.”
“That doesn’t work on me, love. I’m not your Guardian.”
“Thank God for that.”
I expected a sharp retort, but he just looked at me. “I didn’t come here to fight with you,” he said.
“And I didn’t come here hoping to see you.”
He gave me a patient look. He seemed to tell by my hostility that I wasn’t in the mood for his jokes. At least he was smart. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I know what happened.”
I turned on him, snarling. “You don’t know shit.”
He narrowed his eyes, and fire flashed within them. “Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot.”
The harshness in his voice surprised me. I didn’t expect him to say anything like that. Perhaps I deserved it. My gut twisted in a rage at the thought of the demonic reapers gloating behind my back. “Come to rub it in then?”
“I’m not your enemy, Ellie.”
“Aren’t you?”
He was silent.
I ground my teeth. Part of me wanted to fight him for the sake of fighting, but it’d do nothing to get me my revenge. “Why are you really here, then, if you already know what’s made me so upset? Do you want to tell me how sorry you are, or do you have another present from Bastian?”
He flinched and his gaze faltered. “I had nothing to do with that. I didn’t even know about it. If I had known what was going to happen, I would have done something to prevent it. I’m trying to help you.”
“You have nothing to do with everything, don’t you?” I snapped callously.
“I’m not going to take any of your crap, you know.”
I looked over at him, my mouth parting in shock. He had the nerve to talk to me like that?
His eyes were bright and gleaming, honest. “Your guard dog might be okay with getting bossed around and talked down to—”
“I don’t talk down to Will.”
“Oh?” He put his arms up on the back of the bench. “You sure about that?”
I opened my mouth to retort, but I had nothing to say.
“I’m sorry,” Cadan said.
I sighed. I had no right to be upset with him, since he was right, after all. “It’s fine. It’s all my fault anyway.”
“No, it’s not. The blame belongs to those who want to destroy this world and everyone in it.”
“I’ve managed to make Will hate me,” I grumbled. “I’m sure my grandmother thinks I’m a delinquent. Lauren’s petrified of me, and Nathaniel thinks I’m going to snap and kill them all … which I probably will.”
“Nah,” he said. “You’re not crazy.”
I huffed. “You haven’t seen me at my worst.”
“I’d still admire you for exactly what you are.”
“Don’t speak too soon.”
He smiled. “We all have our imperfections.”
“Most people’s imperfections don’t involve going berserk and trying to kill the people they love.”
He was quiet for a moment. “You have a lot more to deal with than most people. Nobody is like you. No one else is what you are, or has ever been what you are. You’re changing, trying to adapt to this world.”
“That’s not an excuse for me to let my power control me. There’s no excuse for me hurting innocent people.”
“True, but we have to try and understand you,” he said thoughtfully. “You are a being of two worlds, Heaven and Earth. What you’re capable of could be limitless. It’s not a question of if you can control your energy. Your body is human and your power is archangel—the most powerful being ever created. Something conflicts. An archangel was never meant to live as a human girl.”
What he said was almost exactly what Michael had told me when I asked him why I lost myself to emotion and to my power. Maybe he and Cadan were right. “There’s something wrong with me.”
“No,” he said softly, reaching forward