hair and change into another t-shirt and some yoga pants.
The last thing I do is dab some of the ointment the doctor gave me on my face and pile my hair up on top of my head into a messy bun.
I want to see if Christian is here. If he is then I need to have that talk he’s probably waiting for. He’ll know my story didn’t just begin months ago, or I didn’t just have the bright idea to return to the stage and make a better life for myself and Rosie.
People can sense I’ve been through shit and now I actually look like it.
I find Christian downstairs in the crevice between the kitchen and the living room with an elderly woman who gives me a kind smile when she sees me.
Christian smiles when he sees me too.
“Lilly this is Vera, my housekeeper,” Christian says.
“Good morning,” Vera says and that’s how I know it must be the next day.
“Morning,” I answer.
“Vera, can you make us some coffee and start the breakfast. The little one will be awake soon,” Christian asks her. she’s already nodding before he can finish.
“Of course,” she answers.
With that Christian slips his arm around my waist and ushers me to the sitting room. I only caught a glimpse of this room yesterday and what I saw was beautiful. I can just imagine what the rest of the house looks like.
From here I can see an amazing view of an Olympic size pool with a terrace and potted plants lining the deck.
Christian sits me down on the sofa and he sits opposite me.
When he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees I know it’s time to talk.
“You look better. How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Better. I feel stronger. Thank you for all you’ve done for me and Rosie. You didn’t have to do any of it.”
“No… But I’ve had this crazy thing for Rosie’s mom since she ran her car into mine. Then I saw her dancing in my club and I can’t seem to get her out of my head,” he says and it’s the first time he’s ever shown any real emotion for me.
My breathe stills in my chest as I stare back at him feeling that same thing again. That spark. It’s getting stronger and I don’t know what to do about it. The last time I opened my heart, I got it so wrong I’ve been trying to find the correct roads that lead out of hell.
“You mean that?” I rasp.
“ I think you should know by now that I’m not likely to say things I don’t mean.” He nods with that cocky smile I’ve grown used to. When it recedes and the seriousness comes back into his face I know he’s about to delve deeper into the questions he wants to ask. So I gear up to receive them. “Why didn’t you tell me about Rosie?”
That’s question one, and the most glaringly obvious question.
I already have the answer prepped for that.
“I didn’t want you to judge me,” I answer and surprise suffuses his handsome face.
“Judge you? Doll, I would never do that. The girls knew. Louise and Mimi knew you had a kid, but I didn’t. I guess I never thought to ask.”
“I didn’t want to look like a bad mother. A whore. Prostitute.” My hands shake.
“That’s not what you are.”
“Isn’t it? Christian, I don’t know how you can say that to me.” I shake my head and my eyes water. I’ve cried so damn much I don’t know how I have any tears left. “How can you say that to me when you know that’s what I am. The night we first met you basically asked me what I was doing there. I said I needed the job and I think you know I was in trouble. what you didn’t know was I was desperate. I owed that debt and Rosie and I had just climbed out of hell.”
He rivets his gaze to me. “Tell me what happened to you Lilly. What hell did you come from?”
“Columbia. Rosie’s father was from there and part of the cartel. He died. before that though…” My voice trails off. “He used to beat me so badly I didn’t know if I was going to make it from one minute to the next. I was with him for four years, married for four years and free of him for the last year. We left Columbia and came to Chicago just before Christmas. I’ve been