to fall out,” I say shaking my head.
She pouts and it’s the cutest thing ever. Her little blonde curls bounce and her brown eyes sparkle. Those eyes are the only thing she got from her father and they remind me of a time before he changed into a monster.
They hold the sweetness and the care.
“But Mama, they taste so good.” Rosie holds on to the edge of my top.
“We’ll have more over the weekend, I promise.” I couldn’t give them to her now even if I wanted to.
Jenny, the amazing lady I got to take care of her, is hot on healthy food and its nearly dinner time. I want Rosie to eat dinner and not be too full on sugary things.
It’s time to go to the club again and today is going to be no different to yesterday. Yesterday I worried about the job because I didn’t know what to expect. It’s the same thing today. I don’t know what to expect after I dance.
Who will book me tonight? And, what will I have to do?
I can’t get last night out of my head. I can’t get him out of my head and I’m crazy to fixate on the fact that a man paid that much money to taste me.
Maybe it’s because I was treated like an animal for so, so long. Like I was nothing. I started to believe it.
“Okay, Mama,” Rosie says giving me that smile again. Her little voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
I pack her toys she calls her babies into her Mickey Mouse backpack. The stuffed pig, the goose, the giraffe and the little pink bear. Then I put on her Princess Ariel coat and the knitted hat she likes.
We just have to go over to the next apartment building, but it looked to me like it would rain so I want to be sure she doesn’t catch a cold.
Rosie and I walk through the rickety old door that I swear will fall off the hinges one day and I lock it. I hate this place. I truly hate it. The goal is to move at the end of the show when I get my money. I’ll get paid the monthly salary, but all the money I make from the bookings will be paid to me in one lump sum at the end. If I get what I hope for I plan to use the money for deposit on a house.
Currently we live in a one-bedroom piece of shit with a broken window that looks out to another apartment across from me with a creepy prick who looks to be in his late fifties who’s always having sex. No matter what time of day or night it is, I look through that window and he’s having sex with one woman after another. The women also look like schoolgirls.
I think he’s a sex addict. Must be to be so active all the time. I also think the girls are prostitutes.
I placed a curtain up but because the window is broken, when it’s windy, the curtain doesn’t do much to shield my eyes from watching something I really don’t want to see.
Rosie takes my hand just as someone clears their throat behind me. My stomach clenches. Without turning, I already know who it is. tension roils within me and I wish I could run away, but that would make things worse.
So, I turn with a smile on my face meeting the dark brown eyes of Brent. He lives around the corner and has had his eye on me since I stepped in the building. He’s a bulky Russian guy who reminds me of an MMA fighter, and he has the same creepy vibe I’ve witnessed in a lot of the men around here.
He works for Lev and was the guy who told me about Lev in the first place. A no-risk, but high interest loan to pay my rent arrears seemed attractive when you know you’ll be thrown into the street with your child if you don’t pay your rent.
I borrowed four thousand dollars and the fucking interest these assholes put on it when I fell behind in repayments took it to twelve thousand. When I tried to argue it I was told I knew what I was signing up for and if I didn’t pay I wouldn’t like the consequences.
“Hello beautiful, now where would you be going with your little doll at this hour?” he asks.
He’s always paid both me and Rosie a compliment,