No different. Maybe worse.
What I do know is I’m lucky he didn’t push for me to sort out my clumsiness then and there, or behave like an ass over the scratch. And thank God it was a scratch. Who knows what it will cost me though, or what the claim will do to my insurance to spike up the monthly payments.
I sigh and pace up the stairs. I’m not late, yet, but bordering on it. I don’t think they will mind because I’m not supposed to be here for another hour, but I was asked to get here early to go over the performance tonight.
Performance…
That’s the part I’m looking forward to and the fact I can wear clothes tonight is a plus. There will be some routines in the weeks to come where I’ll basically be naked.
Dancing naked after not being on stage for close to five years is not my idea of fun.
Dancing naked in a sex club when you were on track to a career as a successful dancer was never in the cards for me. Not at all.
My cheeks burn. Maybe crashing into that guy was an omen I shouldn’t be here. Here at The Dark Odyssey. A sex club known for all kinds of debauchery and wild fantasies for the sexually adventurous.
He knew. That guy knew. He would have known I was coming in here. I was worried about being late, but I’ll admit shame filled me the moment I saw him realize I could only be parked where I was if I was going into the club. I couldn’t get away fast enough.
It doesn’t matter. This job is my chance. A chance I have to seize with both hands to get my life back on track and pay off that fucking debt to Lev. A damn debt I wish I never had to get. It was literally jumping from the frying pan and into the flames of hell, making my situation so much worse than it already was.
It’s not just me I have to think of now. I have a three-year-old daughter who depends on me and I have to be her mom. My little Rosie deserves all the good things this world has to offer. A home where she can feel safe and a mother who can take care of her. The way my mother took care of me.
Nothing else matters right now, and even if it were just me, I owe it to myself to get back to who I’m supposed to be.
It’s just the unknown that worries me.
I go up the steps leading to the dressing room and see Tatiana talking with Louise.
Tatiana is the choreographer who was hired for this project. Louise is the assistant manager here. She alternates her shifts with the manager, Mimi Giordano.
Mimi did my interview along with Tatiana. Both were nice to me, although I suspect Mimi probably saw how desperate I was. Tatiana was too impressed with my resume to see the other side to the job that would worry me.
She and Louise smile at me when I enter the room.
“Fantastic, you’re here,” Tatiana beams. She rubs her hands together excitedly.
I smile and try to act calm and cool. “Hi there. I made it,” I say tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
“We’re so excited about tonight,” Louise says.
Both women frequent the club as patrons so they wouldn’t know how nervous I am. I’ve known them for a little over three weeks and I’ve heard enough stories to make a nun blush and have me in confessionals for a week, just from listening to them.
The way I figure it is this, it’s fine if you come here and meet a guy to hook up. If this is not your thing and you’re working, you become something else entirely.
In my case I’d be little better than a prostitute. They can sugar coat it all they want and make me feel like I’m being daring, but that is what it is.
That’s the part that gets me.
Tonight, could be the start of anything.
I’m the dancer, the angel representing heaven in the exhibition. I’ll be dancing in the hour-long performance and while I dance the men below who watch me will place their bids on who will have me for the night. Who will get to break my wings.
I try not to think about it, other than the fact it will pay me serious money if I can hack it.
“Are you ready?” Tatiana takes both my hands into hers.
“I