to keep my dirty words in my mouth. “So dead people from all the different ages are being sent back here? Not just recent ones like Mel?”
Brook shook his head and frowned. “That is correct. It’s totally chaotic but only part of the problem we face. Look! That is exactly what I’m talking about!” From behind the house smoke and flame started coming around the corner. And not just “too many burgers on the barbecue” stuff—these were big impressive clouds of brown smoke and some yellow flame coming fast and scary toward us.
“What’s happening?”
Zin Zan pointed at the caveman. “He probably started a fire back there. He can’t help it—guys like him don’t know any better.”
“Should we do something about it?”
From the distance came faint siren sounds.
“No, someone’s obviously called it in already. We’ve got to get to your house now.”
“Yeah, but what’s going to happen when the firetrucks get here and have to deal with Mr. One Million B.C.?” I pointed at you-know-who.
“That’s their problem, not ours. Right now we’ve got to get you back home.”
We started walking again but I kept turning around to look at that hairy guy standing in front of Eric’s house. He didn’t move. The sirens got louder, nearer. Were those voices coming from inside the house? Was someone shouting in there?
“Come on, Mr. Gallatin. There’s no time.”
I looked at the Brothers. I looked at the caveman. I looked at the house, the smoke behind him. I knew I was about to do something really stupid and probably unnecessary.
“We can’t just go.”
Both Brothers turned toward the siren sounds and gestured toward them. “They’re coming now. They’ll be here any minute.”
“But what happens in the meantime? Maybe they’ll die down there of smoke inhalation or whatever. Don’t you watch those emergency rescue shows on TV? Every minute counts.”
“Every minute counts for you too. You have to save your home! Do you understand that? They are taking your house!”
I lowered my head and started walking in the wrong direction. One of them touched my arm. I shook him off. Eric Dickey was a turd but I wasn’t going to let him die. Maybe I was being stupid because he probably would have been saved just fine without my help. But I didn’t want ugly things on my conscience. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life with a picture pinned to the inside of my brain of a man and his weasel-eyed wife lying facedown forever in a smoky basement because I needed to get home.
“We won’t be able to help if you go in there. We can’t go with you!”
“Then just wait out here. I’ll be right back.” I kept walking. The caveman saw me but seemed to have his mind on other things. He lifted his head and sniffed the air like an animal—nose up high, making these little up and down jerks every now and again. Sniff-jerk-sniff-jerk. Then he turned and ran around the house to the back.
Which was just fine with me because it gave me free access to the front door. The moment B.C. disappeared from sight, I ran for it. Behind me the Brothers were hollering now, “Don’t!” and, “Please come back!” But I was already there. The bad news was that the door was locked. The good news? An aluminum baseball bat was leaning against the house. Without a second’s hesitation I picked it up. Not a second too soon because I heard a rough animal grunt behind me. Not too close but close enough to have me bringing that bat up to “play ball!” height by the time I’d swiveled around to face that grunt. In shock I almost dropped the damn thing seeing what I did.
The caveman was about ten feet away. In his hands was the charred body of what could only have been a dog. In fact it was definitely a dog because the head wasn’t as grilled as the rest of the black, still-smoking body. I could make out that it was once upon a time a beagle or some such. That’s what the fire behind the house probably started off being—he was cooking some poor sucker’s Lassie or Snoopy. Rest in Peace, Snoopy. Bet you never thought you’d end up lunch.
I didn’t have any time to think about it because B.C. dropped his Happy Meal and came at me. I swung the bat at his head. Lucky for him, he was able to turn a bit at the last second so