a puppy forever.’
‘No.’ I can’t seem to think of anything else to say.
‘What happened to you wasn’t Bruno’s fault,’ George says gently as though he has read my mind. ‘You can’t keep punishing Archie for what happened.’
‘I’m not.’ Am I? Lots of people don’t want pets.
A rush of heat engulfs me. George places his hand on my shoulder. I angrily shrug him off.
‘How can you do this to me?’ I ask.
‘I’m doing this for you. If nothing else the dog will be protection.’
But the only thing I feel I need protecting from in this instant is my husband.
There’s a smattering of reporters outside the house and for once George agrees that Archie and I should stay home.
Today.
I keep checking the doormat but no letter has arrived.
‘I’ll go to Tesco’s and do a shop,’ he offers, ‘and pick up some bits at Pets at Home.’ He stalks to the bottom of our drive and informs the crowd that the curtains are staying closed and I won’t be going outside. Some of them drift away immediately. Some of them linger in hope.
I ring Tash.
‘How was the dentist?’ Despite everything, I haven’t forgotten my manners.
‘Dentist?’
‘Your emergency appointment yesterday?’
‘Yes. Fine. Are you okay?’
‘You’ll never guess what my husband has done?’ I ask. ‘What?’ she sounds wary.
‘He’s bought Archie a dog.’
‘He’s a good man,’ Tash says. ‘He only ever tries to do the right thing for you.’
‘Whose side are you on?’ Irritation creeps into my voice.
‘Yours,’ she assures me quickly. ‘It’s just that George, George…’ she begins to cry.
‘Tash? What’s wrong?’
‘You’re not going to like this.’ Her voice is thick with tears.
‘Tash! You’re scaring me. Nothing can be that bad.’
‘I wasn’t at the dentist yesterday.’
‘Right.’ I’m not sure what to make of it. ‘So where were you?’
‘The doctor’s.’
‘Are you okay?’
For a second there is silence broken by the odd sniff. ‘I… I’m pregnant.’
‘What?’ I’m stunned. ‘But you said you didn’t… you haven’t even got a boyfriend?’
‘It was a one-night thing. Listen, Leah. I wanted to tell you but I sounded out George first to see how he thought you’d take it. You know how you are about…’
‘Hospitals. Germs. Child safety. Everything,’ I finish for her. She knows the details. All that happened. I know she’s been thinking of me but it’s sad she hadn’t felt able to share her news without considering how it would affect me.
‘He asked me to wait until after the anniversary. Said you were fragile enough. You’re lucky to have him, Leah. He wouldn’t have brought the dog home if he thought it wouldn’t be good for you in the long run.’
‘I don’t know what to say. You’re doing it alone?’
‘Yes.’
‘Who will be with you when you give birth?’ Selfishly I am worried she might ask me.
‘I don’t know but, Leah, I’ll be okay and hospitals are pretty sterile with their antibacterial dispensers everywhere and… I think… I think I’ll be a good mum. I know I said I didn’t want kids but since I’ve found out I feel all… I don’t know.’
‘Maternal?’
‘Yeah. I guess. It feels like a good thing. Not a disaster, you know?’
‘Then I’m happy for you,’ I say and I am. It will be another person in my orbit to worry about, but that’s because I will love this baby as much as I love Tash.
‘Thanks. So how are you? Really? Has there been a letter today?’
‘No. I keep waiting for something to happen. It is “The Day”, but other than the bloody dog nothing has happened.’
‘That’s good. Hopefully tomorrow you’ll feel better.’
‘I’ll feel better when Marie turns up.’
‘Still no word?’
‘No. I know this isn’t out of character for her but… well, she wanted me and Carly to help with the TV thing and we didn’t really listen to her properly. I just hope she has got a tour and isn’t off somewhere feeling let down. Or…’
‘I don’t think she’s been taken. It doesn’t make sense that she would be. Not without you and Carly anyway.’
But that’s what I’m afraid of. That today he’s coming for us too.
‘Mummy!’ Archie calls from the kitchen. ‘Mummy the puppy has done a big wee on the floor.’
I tell Tash I’ll speak to her later and hang up the phone.
By the time I have cleared up and washed the floor three times it is lunchtime. Archie plays with the puppy in the garden. I watch him out of the window while I make us a sandwich. I hope George will be home soon. My phone rings and I brush the crumbs