of the grumbling discontent in the country. I was vaguely aware of him at my bedside.
I heard him mutter to Lady Shelton, “There lies my greatest enemy.”
Afterward I discovered that he had not asked to see me but that the good Dr. Butts had forced himself into his presence and told him how ill I was and that he knew the cause and begged him to send my mother to me; whereupon the King rounded on him, calling him disloyal and declaring that he was making too much of my illness for political reasons.
The doctor was abashed but nothing could shift him from his ground. He insisted that if I could be with my mother that would do more for me than a hundred remedies.
Why did I want to go to Kimbolton? demanded the King. So that I and my mother could plot against him, raise armies against him? “The Dowager Princess Katharine is another such as her mother, Queen Isabella of Castile,” he said; and he went on to rave about my stubborn behavior, which was part of a plot to raise people against him. Already people in high places were turning to us.
Yes, he was certainly afraid.
I wondered if he knew then that certain nobles in the North were intimating to Chapuys that they would be ready to support the Emperor if he invaded England in an attempt to bring the Church back to Rome and restore my mother to her rightful place and make me the Queen after dethroning my father.
A story was being circulated about a girl of seventeen or so—my age— who impersonated me in the North of England, where it was unlikely anybody had seen me. She went from village to village telling a sad story of the persecution she had suffered, explaining that she had escaped and was trying to reach the Emperor. Her name turned out to be Anne Baynton and she collected a fair amount of money, so she did succeed in deceiving people. It showed their sympathy to me that none attempted to betray her and instead were willing to help her on her way.
Meanwhile I lay sick in my bed, hovering between life and death.
At length I did begin to recover, for Dr. Butts was determined that I should. He had to prove that my sickness was not incurable. I had always known that he was the best doctor in the kingdom. He was aware of the cause of my illness, and although it was due to a certain extent to illnourishment, it was the sheer misery which I had suffered which was the chief cause.
And as I returned to health there was born in me a determination to live to fight for my rights. I had been through so much that there was little worse that could happen to me. I was denied the company of those I loved; those of my friends who would visit me were turned away. I was kept from my mother; I was deprived of the company of my dear Countess; and Lady Bryan was no longer with me. I told myself I had touched the very nadir of my suffering.
I was very weak and scarcely able to walk across the room; but at least I was alive.
To my surprise, one day I had a visitor.
I was astonished when Lady Shelton came to my room. She said, “Her Grace the Queen commands you to her presence.”
I felt suddenly very cold, and my hands began to tremble.
Lady Shelton was smiling at the prospect, I presumed, of a royal princess having to obey the command of that woman.
I said, “You know my condition. I am unable to walk across the room without help.”
She smiled secretively with a lift of her shoulders.
“Her Grace the Queen commands your presence,” she repeated.
“If she wants to see me, she will perforce have to come to me.”
With a smirk, Lady Shelton nodded and disappeared.
I sat down on my bed, putting my hand to my heart. It was beating wildly. What had I done? I had shown my contempt for her. What would be the punishment for such conduct? Should I be sent to the Tower?
The door of my room was opened. I stared in surprise, for it was the woman herself. I could not believe it. I half rose.
She shook her head and signed for me to remain seated.
She was impressive, I could not deny it. She had an air of distinction. In that moment I could almost understand my