presence was no longer required at my Court.
She was a discreet lady. A few days after receiving the order, she left.
I WAS NOT SURE what would happen. There was a feeling in the Council against war. As for myself, I wavered. There were times when I wanted to please Philip beyond everything; there were others when I reminded myself that he had not come to see me but to persuade England to declare war on France.
He made no comment on the departure of the Duchess of Lorraine. I was glad of this, although I should like to have known what his true feelings were. I had come to the conclusion that I would never know much about this strange, cold man I had married.
He seemed to be obsessed by the need to bring us into the war with France.
I am not sure what would have happened but for the Stafford affair. Reports of the latter's activities were coming in from our people in France, and it was clear that what had seemed just another little plot was really dangerous, due to the increasing involvement of the King of France.
Stafford was becoming more vociferous. It was clear that the influence of the French King was making him very confident. It seemed as though Henri might be using Stafford as he had attempted to use others before; this put a new aspect on the matter.
Stafford was declaring that the Spanish marriage was a disaster and that the Spaniards were preparing to land in England, bring in the Inquisition and make England a vassal of Spain.
I knew how inflammatory such talk could be. He called himself “the Protector,” and he had supporters in England who were already urging the people to rise and fight the Spaniards who were dragging the country into war.
He landed in Yorkshire and took possession of Scarborough Castle. It was a foolhardy thing to do. His forces were pitiably small and lacked the means to fight against us. It was hardly a battle.
He was soon captured and brought to London, where he was tried and hanged and quartered at Tyburn.
That was the end of the Stafford rebellion, but it changed the minds of those waverers on the Council.
The French part in the affair was apparent, and we had to make it clear to them that we would not have them meddling in our affairs.
So Philip achieved his object through Stafford rather than through me. England was at war with France.
THOSE WERE HAPPY DAYS. Philip was in high spirits. Well, perhaps that is an exaggeration. Philip could never be in high spirits; but let me say he was pleased. He looked better, and he had the air of a man whose mission is accomplished.
I was expecting him to declare his intention to depart, and when he did not and seemed to be happy to be with me, my joy was boundless. I had come from the depth of despair to the heights of happiness.
He discussed military preparations with me; and the only time he left me was when campaign strategy had to be worked out with the generals, in which he said I should not be interested.
Ruy Gomez da Silva had left soon after Philip arrived. He had returned to Spain to raise the necessary army and funds for the proposed war.
I was as happy as I had been in the first days of my marriage. I was believing once more in the love of Philip. He wanted to be with me, I told myself. He was finding it difficult to tear himself away. When he had conquered the French, he would return to me, and we should live happily together.
As for the Duchess of Lorraine, she was just a memory to me—and, I hoped, to Philip. There was no question of philandering now. There would have been no time for him to indulge in such things. When he was not with his generals, he was with me.
I threw myself into the task of raising money to support the army.
It was wonderful to share a project. We talked of it incessantly. There was even time for a little hunting, and with Philip beside me that was a great joy. I found such pleasure in being in church with him. A fervent devotion to religion was something we shared. He was as eager to attend the service as I was, and to worship together brought us even closer, I was sure.
I knew that every day he asked if there was any