I firmly believe that if I stay here they will find some way of ridding themselves of me.”
“They would never let you go.”
“Indeed they would not. So I must go in secret.”
He looked alarmed. “It would be a great undertaking.”
“Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that it is the only way. I have a premonition that they are plotting to be rid of me. I must foil them in that. To stay here… their easy victim…is to play into their hands. You know my health is not good. Even now I am telling them that it will not allow me to go to Court. It will be easy for them. ‘Poor Mary,' they will say. ‘She was never very strong. It was inevitable.' I can see it all so clearly. You must help me, Ambassador.”
“I will do everything I can.”
“Very well. Get in touch with the Emperor. Tell him what we have discussed. Send this ring to him. He will remember it, for he himself gave it to me long ago. When he sees it, he will know how dire my need is, for otherwise I should not have sent the ring to him.”
Van der Delft was silent for a few moments. Then he said, “I will write to the Emperor at once, and I will send a trusted messenger with the ring. There must be absolute silence on this matter. I beg of you, do not speak of it to anyone.”
I readily agreed with him.
I felt a good deal better after van der Delft left. I put my trust in the Emperor.
EAGERLY I WAITED for some reply. I felt better. I must live until the rescue came.
After weeks of my waiting, watching the roads, finding the frustration almost unendurable, van der Delft came with a reply from the Emperor.
He was hesitant so I guessed before he told me that the Emperor was not over-enthusiastic about the scheme.
“What does he say?” I commanded. “Please tell me. Hold nothing back.”
“The Emperor feels it would be a hazardous undertaking. The task of getting you out of the kingdom could be almost insuperable.”
“I know it will be difficult but surely with careful planning…”
Van der Delft nodded. He was wary. He did not tell me what I discovered later, that the Emperor had raised the point of who would support me when I arrived in his realm. I was glad I did not know that, for it would have wounded me deeply. It had not occurred to me at the time that a princess must have her household, and a cousin of the Emperor could not live like a pauper, and if I left England I would be thrown on his bounty. But van der Delft had the tact and courtesy to keep that from me. I should have remembered that, during the difficult times through which my mother had passed, the Emperor had always been too deeply involved with his dominions to give more than moral support. I should have been more realistic. I should have understood that, to the Emperor, the trials of his relations and even the break with Rome were not major concerns. He was the most successful and most powerful ruler in Europe and could not be diverted in the smallest way from the immense task of remaining so. He would help me only if that did not disturb him too much and if no sacrifices were demanded.
That was why he was not enthusiastic about my plan to leave the country. Instead he thought of a more traditional way out of my troubles. Marriage.
If I married, I could leave the country with dignity and so escape from danger.
I said, “And when the time comes for me to claim the throne?”
“The Emperor says you would have a husband to help you.”
“But I should not be here.”
“The Emperor thinks it is a good plan, and you would not be here if you escaped.”
“And whom does he suggest?”
“Dom Luiz, brother of the King of Portugal.”
“No,” I said. “No.”
“The Emperor feels it is the best solution.”
Was that a hint? If I did not agree, I could not rely on his help?
Van der Delft was putting forward his master's point of view. He reiterated, “If you escaped as you suggest, you would not be here. A husband would help you gain your throne.”
It did occur to me then that the Emperor was thinking that, if I married, I should not be his responsibility, but there was something in the suggestion that if I had