here.”
I was suffused with happiness. If it could only be! If I could be spared that fate which befell most princesses, to go to a foreign land, to a husband whom I had never seen…if it could be Reginald!
My mother was smiling and looking happier than she had for a long time.
She said, “It would be a suitable match. He is of royal blood. He is a Plantagenet and you know how the people feel about them. Now they are no longer ruled by them, they see them as saints or heroes. Some of them were far from that… but that is human nature and in this case serves us well. Ah, my child, if only it could be. If I could see this come about, I should die happy.”
“Please, my lady, do not talk of dying. You must not leave me now. What should I do without you?”
She put down her needlework and held out her arms to me. We clung together.
“There,” she said, “my dearest daughter, do you think I should ever leave you if it were in my power to stay. Rest assured that wherever I am I shall be with you in spirit. You are my reason for fighting, for living … always remember that.”
I wondered later whether she had a premonition of what was to come.
Soon after that, Reginald came to me in a very serious mood.
He said, “Princess, I have to go away.”
My dismay was apparent.
He was in a great quandary. He wanted to be a supporter of my mother's cause, but the King was fond of him and he was expected to be in his company. It was very difficult for him to be frank as to his feelings.
“I cannot stay here,” he told me, “without letting the King know that I do not agree with his plans for divorce.”
“Have you let him see that you do not approve?”
“Not yet, but I fear I soon shall. I find it hard to deceive him. There was a time when he talked of other matters but this is never far from his mind and soon he will discover my true feelings.”
“Reginald…be careful.”
“I will try but I cannot dissemble forever. This could cost me my head.”
“No!”
“Remember I am in a vulnerable position already because of my birth. If I showed opposition to the King, my life would be worth very little.”
“Oh, it is cruel…cruel,” I cried.
“My dearest Princess, we have to face facts. I have asked his permission to go to Paris to study. I have deserted my books for so long.”
“You are going away,” I said blankly.
He took my hand and looked at me earnestly. “I will come back,” he said. “As soon as this miserable business is over, I shall be with you. We have much to talk of.”
He kissed me tenderly on the forehead.
“It is you, Princess,” he said, “whom I hate leaving.”
So he went and that added a gloom to the days.
“I persuaded him to go,” the Countess told me. “Life can be dangerous for those who do not agree with the King.”
I suppose we were all thinking of Cardinal Wolsey, who had so suddenly lost the King's favor and had died, some said, of a broken heart.
I heard that the King had sent orders to Reginald to get favorable opinions on the divorce from the universities of Paris. Poor Reginald! How he would be torn. I did not believe for one moment that he would obey the King. It was well that he was out of the country. Perhaps I should feel happier for that but it was so sad to lose him.
So we lived through those days. Often my mother was not with us but the Countess and I talked frequently of her and Reginald, and then it did not seem that they were so very far away.
The Countess told me that Reginald had such a distaste for the task the King had set him that he had written back asking to be released from it on the grounds that he lacked experience. But my father was certain of Reginald's powers and he sent Edward Fox out to help him. I was hurt when I heard that the answer the King wanted had come from Paris until I discovered that this had come through the intervention of François Premier who, as his sons were now released and he was married to Eleanora, was a free man.
Then the King sent for Reginald to return home.
He visited his mother immediately, which meant