all bad. He just made bad choices and his life was taken from him before he could repent.”
“Well said.” He cracked his knuckles. “And as for Luke . . . I’m not so sure what to think about him.”
“I didn’t say he wasn’t a good man. He is. But he is different than me.”
“Luke is different, that is true. However, he said a lot of nice things about you, Frannie. But more important than that, I think he understood you. And he liked you for you.” He cleared his throat. “That can’t be underestimated, you know.”
Somehow Frannie was getting the feeling that her father felt like Luke was special because he had been willing to take her on. And she was starting to feel a little awkward, knowing that she’d shared so much with her father, the one person in her life who’d never seemed interested in sharing his feelings.
Well, at least until about an hour ago.
“Daed, I’m embarrassed that you spoke to him about me.” After debating whether to complete her thought, she added, “I wish you wouldn’t have said a word about me.”
“I don’t regret a thing.”
What? “Daed—”
“Listen, child. I know how I can be perceived.” He looked away, the words coming in chunks. “Sometimes my shyness, my awkward way with people . . . well, I know I can seem a little unconcerned. Distant.”
“I never thought you were indifferent.”
“Fact is, I admired the man for being unafraid of me.”
“Luke isn’t afraid of anything—” She stopped herself in the nick of time, feeling embarrassed all over again. For a moment, she’d been ready to talk about Luke in a personal way. As if he was special to her. Like she meant something to him, which of course was not the case.
Would she never learn?
Annoyed with herself, she scooted closer to her father and curved her hand around his elbow. As always, his elbow felt bony under the washed cotton. He’d always been a little on the skinny side, not thick with heavy muscles like Perry. Or fit and lean like Luke. “Daed, you need to tell me what to do.”
“Child, you are too old for that. You need to decide for yourself.”
She loved how only her father could speak of her as his child, but being grown up, too . . . all in one sentence. She loved his trust in her. And because of that, perversely, she ached to lean on him even more. Even though for the last year or so, all she’d been doing was reminding him that she was too old to need him.
“Please, Daed?” she asked. “You need to tell me that I’ll be happy with Micah. That he’s the right choice for my future.”
“I can’t do that. You will be the woman living by his side, Frannie.”
“But it was like this with Mamm, right? Didn’t you have doubts about Mamm and you?”
“You sound like you want that to be the case!”
“Well, no. But maybe . . . yes.”
“I was anxious to marry your mother. I wasn’t torn between two women.”
His voice was so gruff and stiff, Frannie felt her cheeks flush. Put that way, her actions were shameful. She should know what was in her heart .
As he watched her sort through her confusing thoughts, her father laughed. “Oh, Frannie. You’ll always make me smile, that is a fact.”
“Daed—”
“The fact is, you don’t need me to tell you a thing. You and God will make your choice soon enough.”
“It doesn’t feel like it’s going to happen soon.” She knew she sounded petulant, but she couldn’t help herself. She was so tired of fumbling with her emotions. “I’m not very close to making up my mind, either.”
“I disagree. I, for one, would guess that you’ve already made your choice.”
“But . . . ”
“I am not the detective or the sheriff, daughter. You don’t need to conceal the truth with me.”
She hung her head. “See how confused I am? At least tell me what you’re thinking.”
He stared at her hard. For a moment, she was afraid that she’d been too flighty, that he was simply going to get up and leave and wash his hands of her. But finally, he spoke. “Micah is Amish. Micah admires you. He is a good man and hard worker. He will be a good father. A good companion.”
All of that was true. All of those reasons were accurate and correct. Her heart sank. Her father was leaning toward Micah, and she needed to wrap her mind around that