because the doctor didn’t think she would rest here.”
Chris looked at her with a steady gaze, his lips pursed, the muscle in his cheek tense. “I hope and pray that is what happens, then.”
Hearing the word pray set her at ease. “Are you a praying man, Chris?”
Just like that, his expression shuttered. “I am. At least, I used to be.”
“But not anymore?” She shouldn’t have asked such a thing. It was rude and none of her business.
“No. I’ve learned that prayer doesn’t always help.”
His honesty shook her hard. She, too, used to feel more of a connection with the Lord. But like going for daily walks or eating three servings of vegetables, her good habit had drifted to the side. Now praying to give thanks seemed like a lot of bother, as well as a futile exercise.
And now she seemed to only pray when she wanted something. Or needed something. Or was afraid.
“I notice that you aren’t correcting me.”
“I don’t know you well enough to correct you,” she said primly.
Something shuttered in his eyes and suddenly, he became more distant than ever. “You’re right.” Rapping his knuckles on the wooden counter, he said, “I should probably get going.”
Yes, she supposed he did need to go. To prepare for a job he wouldn’t describe, so he could go to a place he wouldn’t disclose. As he looked ready to run out of the kitchen, she blurted, “I thank you for your help. It was mighty considerate of you to give me your time.”
But all she got was a hand raised. It was a half-wave, a half-goodbye.
She did the same, half teasing him, just to see how he’d react.
But she never found out because he never turned back around.
Chapter 9
“Of course I began to hate Perry—he stole from my parents. But that don’t mean I killed him.”
JACOB SCHROCK
Deborah still couldn’t believe she’d had the misfortune to see Jacob Schrock at his parents’ store. What luck! No one had even mentioned that he was back in town. If she’d known that there was a chance of seeing him, she definitely would have listened to her mother and avoided the Schrock’s Variety at all costs.
Now that they’d spoken and it was evident that he hoped to never see her again, Deborah was even more determined to stay away from the market for good. It would be a nuisance of course. Schrock’s wasn’t the only store in town, but it was the only Amish market of its kind. There was no other store in walking distance where it was possible to buy fabric, kerosene, homemade rolls, and farm-fresh eggs.
But talking to Jacob brought back too many emotions she didn’t want to feel. Embarrassment about her brother’s actions. Pain that stemmed from lost opportunities. Then there was her childish crush that never seemed to vanish.
After all this time, she’d thought she’d become used to other people’s accusing looks and pointing fingers. She’d thought she’d finally pushed aside the shame about her brother. But her conversation with Jacob proved that she’d been hopelessly naïve. No matter what she did, for the rest of her life, Deborah was going to be known as the drug dealer’s sister. There was little chance of redeeming herself in people’s eyes.
To some members of her community, she was going to always be in Perry’s dark shadow. It cast a long shadow, too—terribly hard to step out of.
It was beyond ironic that Jacob Schrock—the man she’d always secretly hoped would be her husband—couldn’t seem to stand the sight of her.
Perry would no doubt find that amusing.
Armed with her tote that she’d hoped to fill with fresh dairy products but which now remained empty because she’d been so anxious to leave the market, she started on home. As always, the three miles it took to get home was calming.
As difficult as it was, she was glad to be back in Crittenden County, surrounded by the things she knew so well. The lush scenery, with the creeks and valleys and dense foliage, looked so different than the acres of farmland that covered almost every inch of Charm. There was a sense of coziness to Crittenden County. The narrow rural streets, the abundant greenery. All of it gave one the sense of closeness, of being cushioned in security. So different than Ohio’s wide-open spaces.
So, though she’d been charmed by Charm and relieved to get away from the scrutiny here, she was glad to be back in her comfortable surroundings. As she continued walking, she looked with