I am right now.”
“That makes sense. I’ve always greeted doctors with a mix of anticipation and fear.”
Just then two doctors and a nurse came into their little cubicle.
“Frannie? I’m Dr. Carlson and this is Dr. Arthur. We’re going to look at your eye, okay?”
She nodded.
As they crowded around her, she did her best to lie still.
But she felt the shakes start, so much so that she knew everyone in the room was aware of it.
“Are you in pain?” Dr. Carlson asked.
“Some,” she murmured. In truth, she was so stunned by the unexpected events, she wasn’t completely sure how she felt.
“Do you want some more pain medicine?’
She didn’t know. Weren’t all medicines bad? But if the doctors asked her to take them, then she must need them, right? “I’m just afraid of what you’re going to do,” she said, hating that her voice was trembling.
Then, to her surprise, Luke took her hand. “It’s okay, Frannie. You don’t need to make any decisions right now at all. I’ll stay right here with you.”
And though it wasn’t in her nature to accept help, Frannie found herself linking his fingers between hers and exhaling.
She needed someone to clutch and lean on. To calm her nerves. And Luke did seem more than willing to accept her burdens.
“I’ve got you, Frannie,” he whispered.
And truly . . . right then and there, she felt like he did.
“Stay as still as you possibly can,” Dr. Carlson ordered as he and the other physician bent close and peered into her eye.
The light felt blinding. Her vision blurred.
And she was so very glad that she couldn’t see what was happening.
Chapter 4
“I never agreed with Mamm and Daed searching through the drawers and cabinets in our rooms. Everyone needs some privacy, I think. But Mamm said she only looked through my things because she’d gone through Perry’s.”
DEBORAH BORNTRAGER
Despite the rumors that were buzzing around their tight-knit community, Deborah Borntrager still loved her brother. Sure, Perry had made some bad decisions. He’d gotten mixed up with the wrong kind of people. Sometimes, too, he could be terribly mean, almost spiteful with his sharp words and temper.
Sometimes he’d even been that way with family members who cared about him.
But everyone made mistakes, right? Deborah knew she did. She knew she was still making mistakes.
She comforted herself with that thought every morning when she said her prayers. With each sunrise, she’d get down on her knees and reach out to the Lord. Then, in the quiet of her room, she’d talk to Jesus about Perry’s good points. Even the ones that Perry had seemed to have forgotten about. Perry had never been one for self-reflection.
Next, she’d pray for the Lord to help everyone in their community to forgive Perry. He’d caused so much hurt by his lies and anger, and it was becoming mighty apparent that not too many people in the community were eager to simply forgive and forget. Especially since he had never admitted his sins or asked for forgiveness. With all her heart, she would pray people would remember that it had been the drugs that had made Perry do bad things. It wasn’t his fault.
After she covered the community, she’d ask the Lord to forgive Perry for his transgressions. She’d pray that he had somehow repented before he’d died and was now in heaven with all the saints and angels. But always, as soon as she thought about his erratic behavior, about the terrible things he used to say to her, the way he’d lied and cheated and stole from them all . . . she’d open her eyes and get up off her knees.
And as her heart began to beat slower, she’d sigh and wonder how long she could blame the drugs for his selfishness. And the way he could be so cruel. After all, he might have been addicted. But he’d also made the choice to begin his drug use in the first place.
Not that she’d ever say any of those things out loud.
At first when Perry’s body had been found and a thousand questions had buzzed through the community, her parents had sent her to Charm, Ohio. There, her grandparents had given her time to mourn. For two weeks she cried and prayed and slept. She helped her grandmother wash walls and move all the household goods from the basement to the main floor. The hard work, combined with her grandmother’s sweet, quiet personality, had been the perfect medicine to her frayed nerves. Only in the middle