unshed tears.
“No, it’s not too soon at all. I’ve loved you since you played squark in Scrabble and got so excited because you beat me. Who knew I had a thing for bad sports who gloat over winning?”
Trey
I’d never experienced such a mix of emotions all at once. Elation, because Roman loved me. Fear, because as he pointed out, I still had a stalker. Hope, because everything I’d ever wanted but never had the faith to wish for was right in front of me. And trepidation, because I knew my parents weren’t going to take this well. But I didn’t want any of it to stop. I wanted to feel it all. I’d spent so much time trying to control my emotions, and now I just wanted to sit in them for a few minutes.
“How are you doing over there?” Roman asked.
“Good, I’m doing really good. Just wondering how far it is to the nearest gym so I’ll have a place to swim.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve just decided to completely upend your entire life, and all you're worried about is where you’re going to go swim?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Well, there’s a gym not too far up from the house over on Lindon Avenue, but I’m not sure if they have a pool. Does that make you feel better?”
“I was already feeling pretty good,” I said with a wink. “But yeah, I do feel better.”
“Are you sure? I mean, this is a lot of stuff all at once.”
“Roman, I don’t know how to explain this to you. I’m pretty much scared to death, but I’m okay at the same time.”
He reached over and took my hand giving it a squeeze. “Okay, as long as you’re doing all right. If you need to stop for a minute and reassess, let me know.”
“Reassess what? I’m about to blow my whole life up. Nothing to worry about, right?” He looked at me again like he wondered if I’d lost it, and I laughed. “Honestly, Roman, I’m fine. I feel alive. I feel like this is the right thing to do. For the longest time, I’ve only been living half a life, the part my father said was okay, but I’m doing this for me. This is me saying, I don’t have to live my life according to his rules. I can make my own rules. Love who I choose to love and be who I choose to be. He has no say.”
“You mentioned your father, but what about your mother? What do you think she will say?”
“Honestly? She’ll probably eat it up. Rebecca and I are grown. She built an empire based on homeschooling us in a godly fashion. But that’s over. No one wants to read a boring book about a middle-aged woman remembering how she raised her children twenty years ago. I mean, really, what was next for her? A freaking cookbook? But now she can write a moving bestseller about the pain and betrayal she deals with because she has a gay son.”
“You really think so?”
“Oh, she’ll put on a good show, acting all wounded, but some days I think she only had kids so she would have the moral authority to tell people how to raise theirs. She isn’t like your mother, Roman. Your mother is a mama-bear. You’re lucky to have her.”
“Her and Conrad both. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Ryan or Jordan either. Rand”—he let out an exaggerated sigh—“some days I would trade him.”
“You would not.”
“I wouldn’t, you’re right. Think how boring life would be without constant pranks and calls to bail Rand out of trouble,” he said, rolling his eyes.
We pulled in through the gates and up to the parking area. I looked around the property. “You know, there’s a good chance after today, I won’t be welcome here. It’s weird. The place that has always been home won’t be anymore. I can’t decide if I’m sad about that or if instead, I feel like I’m throwing out a pair of shoes that don’t fit anymore.”
“I imagine you'll will have a lot of weird feelings about what you’re doing. You’re making choices that you know people in your life aren’t going to support, and that will be hard. But I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
Chapter 25
Roman
“We should try to pack and load as much as we can before they get back. We should have a couple hours. Do you know if there are any boxes we can use?”
“I’m sure there are, but