before he could rise from the bed. The water bottle he handed me rolled to the floor as his surprised gaze snapped to mine.
“Don’t go.” Those were the last words I thought I’d ever say to him, but they came out more than once. “Don’t go, Salinger. I know you’re probably busy, and it’s asking a lot since we aren’t even friends, but I really don’t want to be alone right now.” And I didn’t want to be with someone who would judge my messy state.
I loved Lennon, but she was very much the ‘pull yourself up by the bootstraps’ kind of friend. And Arrow was just a little too fragile to fully lean on. Oh, I knew she would rip Erik’s heart out if I asked her to, but she had her own wounds she was healing, so I refused to make her tend to mine. Lennon would berate me for wasting even a second of grieving the past and remind me how much better off I was now. She would be right, but tough love wasn’t what I needed at the moment. Sober me could take those punches; drunk me would be knocked out and feel beaten up before I could fight back. I needed someone who would let me vent and wallow in anguish before picking me up and putting me back together.
I wasn’t sure why my muddled mind thought Salinger could tackle that kind of cleanup project, but I knew I didn’t want him to walk out the door. And not just because I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted him there specifically. His understanding and compassion were addicting. I liked that he still spoke with a carefree youthfulness but related his experiences in a way that was so mature.
He patted my hand with his and shot me a crooked grin. “I don’t think that’s the best idea. We just called a truce. I don’t want to rock the boat. I’m hopeful that we can eventually get to the point where you do consider us friends.”
I clawed my fingers into his skin hard enough there was a good chance I drew blood. “Fine. Just stick around until I fall asleep. If we don’t talk, we won’t fight.” My head was starting to hurt, and my stomach was beginning to roll a little bit. It was a good thing he intervened before I demanded that last martini. I would’ve been a weeping nightmare in the bar, and there was a solid chance I would’ve tossed my cookies all over the place.
There wasn’t a tip big enough to bury that kind of embarrassing story.
I could see him wavering as he carefully peeled my fingers off his arm. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen for a long minute. After tapping out a message or two, he shifted his midnight eyes to mine. “If you promise to call Lennon as soon as you wake up, I’ll stay until you fall asleep. She’s hounding Jeno every five minutes, and she’s called me five times in the last fifteen minutes. She’s really worried.”
Feeling like some of the suffocating weight that had been sitting on my chest finally lifted, I clumsily rolled toward the side of the bed, reaching for my discarded purse. “I’ll text her right now.” Suddenly I was exhausted, and it felt like a challenge to keep my eyes open.
I overestimated the distance and the quickness of my reflexes after too many drinks. I yelped as my momentum nearly took me to the floor. If Salinger hadn’t moved in a flash and caught my shoulder, I would’ve ended up on my ass in an ungraceful sprawl.
Sighing, he bent down and grabbed my bag, tossing it in my direction with a disregard that indicated he had no clue how much the tiny accessory cost. I pawed around for my phone, holding it up triumphantly when I found it.
“Ah-ha. I’m texting her right now, so don’t leave me.” I was so focused on trying to type out a semi-coherent message to Lennon, I didn’t hear Salinger’s quiet groan. If I looked up at that moment, I would’ve seen that his expression was pained; he was struggling between what I wanted him to do and what he knew was the safer option for both of us.
Of course, Lennon immediately texted back a flurry of frantic messages. Not up to going back and forth with her, I shut my phone off entirely and flopped back in