on her coat while telling Frankie that their mother is watching television in her bedroom.
“Call me if you need anything,” she says.
Frankie waves a hand. “Go on. We’re fine here.”
I know how to be a complete gentleman when the occasion demands it. I open the front door for Camden and I wait until we can’t be seen from her house before I pull her to my chest and slip my hands under her jacket. She presses her body close and meets my mouth with eagerness. When my hand finds the hem of her sweater and snakes under it to touch bare skin I realize I’m in danger of getting too worked up.
I meant what I said to Frankie. I respect Camden to the moon and back. It’s just that I also want to strip her naked and make her come in fifteen different filthy ways.
But right now I have to set those ideas aside because I promised her breakfast.
She suggests Imogen’s but my mom is working today and I’d rather not have an audience. So instead we choose a little place called Famous Egg where you can usually find a line of bleary eyed truckers inhaling cups of coffee at the counter. We feel lucky to score one of the few tables.
“Order anything you want,” I urge. “I’m paying and don’t argue.”
She smiles at the menu. “I won’t argue. But you might be sorry. I have a big appetite.”
I can think of a few obscene comebacks to that last line but I don’t say them because for once I’m really trying to be boyfriend material. Instead I tell her about my solitary hike in the wilderness yesterday, omitting some key details about what was on my mind. Our food arrives while I’m telling her about dispatching Dirtbag and how I wish my mother would have enough confidence in herself to expect better from men.
“Are you close?” she asks. “You and your mom?”
“Not really. There’s too much we just don’t talk about.”
“I remember the day she came in to Dee’s to talk to you. Anyone could see in her face how much she loves you.”
“That’s because I’m all she’s got.”
Camden pauses in the middle of slicing through her pancakes. She’s waiting for me to elaborate and I can’t.
“And your dad’s dead, isn’t he?”
I try to remember if I told her that. I don’t think I did.
She sets her fork down. “I think those of us who have lost a parent recognize the same pain in other people.”
“Yes, my father is dead.” I don’t know if I’ve ever said those exact words out loud.
Camden frowns down at her plate. “And you can’t tell me more than that.”
“No.”
She forgets about her pancakes and stares at me for a long moment. She’s so beautiful. I want to lose myself in her.
“Can you tell me something else, Ben?”
“Like what?”
“Anything that’s true.”
I pause and then drop a bombshell. “I’ve never had sex.”
She sits back in her chair, mouth twisting into a smirk. “Get real.”
“Camden, I’ve lied about all kinds of things. I wouldn’t lie to you about this. I’m no angel for sure and I’ve done some dirty shit. But good old fashioned sex? Nope, never done it.”
Her smirk changes to shock. “My god, you’re serious.”
“Very.”
She’s at a loss. “Ben.”
The waitress picks an unfortunate moment to stop by and ask us if we need anything else.
Camden is inspecting me so intently it’s like she’s trying to read a map on my forehead. But she waits until the waitress is gone before saying another word. “You’ve had plenty of chances. I know you have. I hear the way girls talk about you. They must throw themselves at you all the time.”
“Not gonna argue about that.”
“And you’ve never had sex with any of them?”
“Not in the technical sense. No.”
“Why?”
“Hey, like I said, I’m not exactly a monk. But I guess when the time comes to cross that bridge it just feels too….”
I search for the right word.
Camden waits.
I figure out what I’m trying to say.
“It just feels too close.”
She lets that sink in. “And you don’t let people get too close, do you?”
“Not regularly.”
Not at all.
Her hand touches mine. She’s an angel in that pink sweater. I’d pull her into my lap and bury my face in her soft hair if it wouldn’t draw stares and probably some catcalls from the truckers at the counter.
“Ben, I’m really sorry that I ever misjudged you.”
“I gave you good reason. I got in the habit of acting like a dick around