then couldn’t stop feeling like crap over it. I planned to apologize when she showed up for work the next day.
In the meantime I got to really thinking about things and wondering if maybe Camden wasn’t the problem. She’s a smart girl who likes to ask questions and I’m the one who acts like a fucking troll anytime she gets too close. I figured I could try leveling with her, sort of. I’d tell her that we could work together and maybe we could even kind of be friends but she needed to respect that I had my reasons for wanting to keep to myself. Camden might be stubborn but I knew she had a heart. She’d probably be cool as long as I dropped my shitty attitude.
But then when she did show up I forgot about whatever it was I wanted to say. The girl was freaking radiant. And so insanely pleased when she saw her birthday gift from the Cushings that it made me wish I’d bought her a gift myself. Being around her had thrown me off course and I wasn’t prepared. Nobody forced me to give into that temptation but I wasn’t sorry we’d messed around. I hoped she wasn’t sorry either. By the time I walked her home I knew that she had managed to get to me in a way that no other girl ever had.
I wasn’t sure what to do about that but I was very sure that I wanted to kiss her again.
And again.
And again.
I wanted to have her with my tongue. I wanted to dominate her with my cock. I also wanted to hold her in my arms and listen to her talk about life.
“Fine, keep your secrets,” my mother says but she’s smirking in a way that says she can guess what’s going on. Then she gets upset when she sees me grab my bag and head for the door. “Where do you think you’re going without a jacket?”
“I forgot it at school.”
“At school? You mean you’ve been suffering in the cold all weekend without a jacket?” Her eyes have bugged out. She’s as distraught as if I were a toddler running around naked in the snow.
“Gotta go, Ma.” I give her a quick hug and wince over how thin she is, and not in the stylishly aerobic way that she used to be thin. This comes from worry and bad habits and loneliness.
It’s as cold as the goddamn North Pole outside but I don’t even care. There’s a weird sensation in my gut as I round the corner toward the bus stop. I can’t believe it but I’m actually fucking nervous. I’ve always had an easy time with girls and I’m not used to being knocked on my heels like this.
She’s already there and she’s staring in the direction of my street. I feel the grin spread across my face at the sight of her all wrapped up in her coat and her scarf and her gloves as she whips her head to the side to make it look like she wasn’t waiting for me at all. I spent all day yesterday cursing the fact that I never asked for her phone number. She wasn’t scheduled to work on Sunday and I was stuck in the company of brainless Brian while watching the door and hoping she’d stop by. She didn’t. I told myself that if I had a real set of balls I’d just drop by her house. But I didn’t do that so here I am on Monday morning with a gut full of anxiety while snow flurries fall on my head.
“Hey.”
Camden pulls the scarf away from her face. Her cheeks are pink with cold and she gives me a bashful smile. “Hi.”
I clear my throat. “How are you?” Hot damn, I’m a gifted conversationalist.
“I’m good.” She looks me over and becomes distressed. “Ben, it’s so cold for you to be without a jacket.”
“Nah, I’m fine,” I say but she’s already unwinding her scarf. She doesn’t pause before reaching out to loop it around my neck.
“This will help a little.” She’s intent on bundling me into her scarf and being this close to her is just too much. I drop my backpack, put my hands on her waist and pull her in. A little gasp of surprise exits her lips but then her face lights up. She slips her arms around my shoulders and lets me hold her. She’s tall enough so that I can press my