room. “Wait. Why is she here?”
I frowned and stepped past the kitchen as Lexi walked out of her room.
“You’re supposed to be with Erik,” she said, eyeing my things by the door and then glancing back to me. “I let him in earlier so he could get your stuff, and last night when you left, I texted him to make sure you were okay.”
Right. Of course. I’d only then realized I’d left them in the middle of the closing ceremonies and had never returned home. I hadn’t thought to let them know I was okay. I’d been too consumed with…well, other things.
“So…why are you here?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion.
“I wanted to say bye to you guys before I left.”
She nodded slowly in disbelief, but then she came close and hugged me all the same. “Oh, well, I’m glad you came back. You missed one hell of a party after the closing ceremonies. Somehow, I ended up with some Korean guy’s underwear.” She pulled back and met my eyes with a knowing grin. “But I’m sure you had some fun of your own.”
“Erik is coming to Texas with me.”
I blurted the words out as if they were a breath I’d been holding for the last thirty minutes.
She nodded with a wide grin. “Duh. I think it’s so romantic.”
I frowned. No. That wasn’t what she was supposed to say.
“Don’t you think that’s crazy?” I rasped. “He’s moving for me. Isn’t this the type of thing adults warn against?”
She took a step back, assessing me with furrowed brows. “It doesn’t matter what I think, Brie, but if you’re asking my opinion, I’d say you’re overthinking it. You’re young, you just won a neck-full of medals, and a great guy wants to get to know you better.”
“He’s leaving everything—his gym, his house, his life. That’s insane!”
Her brows furrowed. “No, it’s not. Think about what he has the chance to get in return. He loves you. He wants to be with you. Besides, he has family in Texas, right? It makes sense that he would want to go back with you.”
Why was no one understanding it? Why could no one see the panic in my eyes? I needed someone on my side.
“But don’t you see how terrible it will be? He and I fight all the time. It’s a recipe for disaster.”
“So you make up.” She shrugged. “It shouldn’t be a big deal for you guys—you seem to be pros at makeup sex.”
I shook my head and dragged a hand through my hair, feeling the tension building up inside me. I felt like a volcano about to erupt.
“Wait…this isn’t about?” Rosie asked, coming to stand beside Lexi. She was so small, but the way she looked at me like she was studying a specimen under a microscope made me shiver. “You’re pushing him away. Why?”
“No. I’m not. That’s not what this is. I just think it’s crazy that he would move to Texas for me.”
She shook her head and narrowed her eyes, trying to unravel the hidden truth behind my words.
“I think you’re sabotaging something good so you won’t get hurt…so you won’t get left behind.”
I shook my head vehemently. “That’s not the case at all.”
“Yes it is,” Lexi said with fire in her eyes. “Let Erik come to Texas with you because he loves you and wants to make you happy. Don’t spend so much time trying to figure out how you’re supposed to feel, and focus on what you do feel. If you are scared, you don’t have to push him away forever. Take it step by step, and if you guys aren’t happy, then you break up. It’s not the end of the world.”
No.
My stomach tightened and my heart dropped.
It would be the end of the world. That’s what no one understood.
I was already in love with Erik. Over the last few weeks, I’d let myself fall into the fantasy of him. I’d believed I was worthy of a man like Erik Winter and I’d fallen in love, not by choice, but because eventually I lost the fight against him. Even still, I’d always prepared myself for the end. In the last few days, I’d pushed him away, blaming it on gymnastics and my need to focus on the Olympics, but really, I’d tried to build a wall between us so that when he left, I wouldn’t be crushed by the weight of his absence. As it was now, Erik still lived in that fantasy world. He was a