Avery’s with the other. “I can’t stand to have you mad at each other, or at me.”
Avery stood up, not wanting to be part of whatever Kumbaya moment Taylor was trying to have. “Forget it.”
He went to the bar and ordered a beer from Emily. By the time she handed it to him, he was feeling guilty, and he ordered two more—one each for Taylor and River. But when he got back to the table, only River remained.
“Great job,” River said, without looking up. “He left in tears.”
“Fuck.” Avery sank down onto the bench on his side of the table. “I’m sorry, all right? But while you’re all busy worrying about Gray apologizing and about what a great guy Jonas is, I’m the one stuck having to face his husband’s ex every time we all get together. You have no idea what that’s like.”
River sat up straight, squaring his shoulders. “Bullshit.” He practically spat the word at Avery. “I’m sick of you sitting there, wallowing in self-pity, acting like you’re the only one who’s ever had to deal with this shit.” He leaned closer. “Did you know Taylor lived with Phil before he lived with Warren? How do you think I felt, knowing Taylor had lived with him, and now Phil sees him all the time? And Taylor, who’s ready to get down on his knees for anybody! And I had to learn to shrug that off. And what about Gray? The guy everybody wants coming to my house last fall to tell Phil he’s been in love with him for years.” He slammed his hand on the table. “My house, Avery! I walked in to find Phil in Gray’s arms, like they’d just been making out. And you think I have no fucking idea what you’re going through?” He pointed at Avery again. “Fuck you.”
He picked up the beer Avery had brought him and downed two-thirds of it in one swallow.
Avery gulped, reeling. How could he have been so stupid? He knew Taylor had lived with Phil once upon a time. He certainly knew about Gray being in love with Phil. But all he’d seen was a future where he had to face Jonas every time they all got together. “I’m sorry.”
River shrugged and finished the beer, his anger gone as quickly as it had come. He set the empty glass aside. “It’s okay. I get it, Avery. But you’re going about it all the wrong way.”
Avery sighed and put his head in his hands. “Okay. So what am I supposed to do?”
“Give him a chance.”
Avery resisted the urge to scowl. “Are you kidding?”
“That’s what did it for me. I spent time with Taylor. I watched him with Phil. I listened to him gush about how much he loves Warren. And the more time I spent with him, the less I worried.” He took the beer that had been meant for Taylor and sipped it. “And the same thing with Gray. The more I see him with you, the more I’m reminded that he’s no threat to me.”
Avery stared down the table, his heart in his throat. “I don’t know if I can. Gray says he doesn’t still love him, but I can’t help but think he might change his mind if he has to see him all the time.” He swiped tears out of his eyes. “And the sex. Jesus. I don’t know if I can watch Gray with his ex.”
River sipped his beer, thinking. All around them, TVs buzzed with sports. Other people talked. Robert sat at the bar with the black guy who’d been coming to see him the last few weeks. On a normal night, Avery would have been curious. He’d have silently cheered them on because Robert deserved to have some fun, but tonight, Avery was too busy worrying about his own bullshit.
“Listen, Avery. You’re always saying we need to stop assuming. Stop jumping to conclusions. Give people the benefit of the doubt. If you have to judge, at least wait until you have all the facts. But it’s both foolish and ignorant to make assumptions and then proceed if those assumptions are true. Right?”
Avery sighed. “Right.”
“Assuming Jonas came back to Denver to marry Charlie and donate a kidney just so he can get to Gray is pretty illogical.”
“I suppose.”
“And thinking Gray, the guy who’s head over heels for you, would suddenly want to go back to the guy he broke up with six years ago is pretty illogical too. Right?”
“I suppose it is.”
“Jonas