a good reason. I don’t blame you for being pissed at me—”
“I’m not pissed. I never was,” Gray said. “Not at you, at any rate.”
Charlie wasn’t sure he believed that, but he didn’t argue. He simply waited for the rest to spill out.
“Look, I know how this has to hurt, having to shut down your clinic, then being suspended from Urgent Care,” Gray said. “I know how much your work means to you. And to have that taken away? It sucks. It’s bullshit. All you want to do is help people, and it feels like the universe is giving you the finger instead of thanking you.” He shook his head. “I’m in the same boat, really.”
“When I saw Avery at the Tap House, he said you’d had several offers.”
Gray wave his hand dismissively. “I have half a dozen of them, all from private security companies. Which means I end up working security at a hospital or the mall or at construction sites or football games.” He rubbed his forehead. “I shouldn’t complain. They’re jobs, right? But the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do is be a cop. And nobody will touch me now. Not even the little towns in Kansas or Nebraska will risk hiring me. Not after that mess before Christmas.”
“Shit, Gray. I’m sorry. I didn’t know—”
“It’s fine,” Gray said, even though it obviously wasn’t. “I’m not trying to make it about me. I’m trying to do what you always say and focus on the positive, you know? I try to focus on Avery and pretend it doesn’t hurt like hell knowing I’ll never wear a badge again.” He sighed. “I’m not asking for sympathy. I’m only saying, I know how much it sucks to have that one thing that defines you taken away.”
Charlie reached across the table to pat Gray’s hand. “Thanks, man. Just hearing that means a lot.”
Gray took a drink of his beer, but Charlie could tell by looking at him that his brain was going a hundred miles an hour.
“They’re only questioning you, right? They haven’t filed charges yet?”
“Right. But they had a warrant when they got here.”
“Interesting. Must have had a pushover of a judge to get it.” Although he didn’t quite meet Charlie’s eyes as he said it. “What did Warren mean about Phil and River being caught up in it?”
“The cops assume that’s where I was getting my drugs.”
Gray’s eyebrows went up. “Is it?”
“You really think Phil would have stolen drugs for me, even if I’d asked?”
Gray laughed. “Okay, so it was a stupid question. But after that shit last year with River’s ex…” He scratched the scruff on his chin, thinking. “I’ll call my mom. Maybe I can get a feel for how serious it all is. Maybe she can pull some strings and make sure she’s the one the cops have to convince to press charges.”
Charlie had forgotten that Gray’s mom, Carmen, was a DA. “I’d appreciate any help I can get.”
“Phil and River will land on their feet,” Gray said. “They’re innocent. We have to trust they’ll be cleared.”
“I hope so. I’ll feel awful if not.”
They were silent for a while, both of them nursing their beers, wondering where they went from here.
“I’m sorry I was being an ass and avoiding you,” Gray finally said. “I’m not mad about Jonas. I know you both think that, but you’re wrong.”
“Then why ignore me, Gray? We’ve been friends since high school, and suddenly you won’t take my calls? What was I supposed to think?”
Gray shrugged, looking sheepish. “I was embarrassed, more than anything. Here I was, coming to you with my problems. Talking about how things were going wrong with Jonas. And it turns out you were seeing Jonas behind my back the entire time. I kept picturing you both talking about me, laughing about what an idiot I was.”
Charlie was already shaking his head. “It wasn’t like that. He came to me the same way you did—to talk. And I listened to him, the same way I listened to you. And that was never a secret. Every one of you knew your partners came to me when they needed a sympathetic ear.”
Gray nodded. “True.”
“It was never about taking one side or the other, especially with you and Jonas. I was trying to be the friend you both needed.”
Gray grinned at him. “You’ve always been stuck in the role of on-demand shrink.”
“I don’t mind. I like being the go-to guy. But I never should have let it go as far