him be on top. But his Teacher didn’t hesitate. He let River bear down on him, deepening their kiss. He released River only long enough to help him undress, and to wiggle out of his boxers before pulling him back down.
“Green.”
River gave up restraint, attacking Phil’s neck, kissing his chest. He’d never been allowed to hold Phil like this or to explore his body so thoroughly. He slid one hand down Phil’s side to his thigh, and Phil spread his knees, lifting them, wrapping his legs around River’s waist.
River could have come then and there. The one time Phil had allowed River to top, he’d done it with River flat on his back. It had been a lesson—his way of proving to River that it didn’t matter if he ever learned to bottom again. Even now, anal sex was rare for them. There were so many other ways for them to give each other pleasure. But now, Phil’s legs were tight around him, his hips moving as if to invite River in. River slid his hand down, feeling the curve of Phil’s ass. His fingers found the crevasse between his cheeks. River kissed him harder, caressing as he’d never been allowed to do before. Phil gasped against his lips as River’s fingers found his entrance.
“Here,” Phil said quietly, putting the lube in his hand.
Maybe it should have encouraged him, but River found himself hesitating. He searched Phil’s blue eyes, trying to find some kind of answer. “Is this what you want?”
Phil laid his hand against River’s cheek. “I want to give you whatever you need from me right now. If you want me to bottom, I will. If you want me to get on my knees and beg, I will. If you want me to never see Gray, Warren, and Charlie again, I will.”
“You’d miss them.”
“Desperately. But if that’s what you need from me, I’ll do it.”
River ducked his head against Phil’s chest, his mind spinning.
Giving up his oldest, closest friends was not something Phil would have done lightly, and yet here he was, offering to do exactly that. Some tiny, tiny part of River wanted to take him up on it, but he flinched away from it. That was the kind of thing Terrence would have done. He’d loved controlling who River spent time with. He’d used guilt to manipulate River into giving up everything that mattered to him.
River would never do that. He didn’t want to be that kind of man.
As for the rest? Top or bottom didn’t matter. Maybe it mattered to some couples, but not to River. Yes, the idea of pushing into Phil was tempting. He was a guy, after all. Sex was sex, and it felt good. But he’d have been just as happy to reverse their roles, to be the one spreading his legs for the man he loved.
And as for Phil getting on his knees to beg…
Never. River would never, ever want that to happen. The thought of it was enough to break his heart because it would mean destroying everything that made his Teacher who he was. He loved Phil. He loved what they had together. Nothing made River happier than serving him. He was proud of the collar around his neck.
He reached for the chain on the wall. Put the clasp in Phil’s hand.
“This is what I want.”
Phil’s eyes filled with tears, but he nodded and attached the chain. River sighed, holding Phil, feeling the deep sense of calm that always came at moments like this.
He belonged to his Teacher, heart and soul. Nothing could ever change that.
“We’re still in green,” Phil said quietly. “Just tell me what you want.”
“I want to serve you.”
Phil smiled and used the chain to pull River into a kiss. “Whatever you like.”
River kissed him, exploring his body, loving the feel of Phil’s legs, tight around his waist. He moved down, the lube still in his hand. He wrapped his lips around Phil’s cock, sighing at how wonderfully comfortable and familiar it was, and yet how new, at the same time, having Phil’s legs wrapped around his neck and chest as he sucked. He put lube on his fingers. Found Phil’s entrance. Heard Phil’s gasp of surprise.
River hesitated there. This was uncharted territory—something Phil had never asked for and River had never attempted.
“Green,” Phil said again, his voice shaking.
River slid his fingers inside. Phil made a soft, quiet, breathy sound. A slow exhale as River’s fingers slid in. He tensed, shoving his erection deeper into