He hated how defeated he felt. “I’ll go buy a new pair—”
“Wear your jeans.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
Jonas laughed. “Well, my first choice would be leather chaps and nothing else, but I hear they frown on that at the courthouse. So yeah, jeans will be fine.” He slid his hands up to Charlie’s chest. “Do you remember what you promised me? The day we used the sounding rods?”
“That I’d tie you up and fuck you ’til you screamed?”
“You ready to make good on that promise?”
Charlie laughed. Jonas was only trying to distract him from his self-pity, but Charlie sure didn’t have anything to lose by going along with it. “You better believe it.”
It didn’t take long to get rid of Jonas’s clothes, or Charlie’s boxers and T-shirt, and then Charlie led him to the bed. At night, they made love in the dark. If they fooled around during the day, Charlie often wore his leathers, partly because Jonas seemed to like them, but partly because it allowed him to cover his flabby middle. But this time, Jonas stopped him.
“No chaps. No vests.” He caressed Charlie’s stomach. “No clothes at all, okay? I like you just like this.”
Charlie knew Jonas was trying to make a point, but it didn’t change how vulnerable Charlie felt being naked, with the lights on and all of him open to scrutiny.
“The leather isn’t what makes you sexy,” Jonas assured him. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about with me.”
“I just wish—”
“I don’t,” Jonas said, putting his hand against Charlie’s cheek. “I don’t wish for any part of you to be different.”
Charlie turned his head to kiss Jonas’s fingers. He didn’t understand how he could be so lucky—how he could have somebody as sweet and practical and adorable as Jonas look at him with such desire. Charlie kissed him, letting his reservations go. When Jonas caressed his middle, Charlie resisted the urge to pull away or stop him. All he could think about was how much he loved Jonas. How after six long years, they could finally be together without hiding or feeling guilty. He didn’t have to spend another day or another hour or another minute worrying about Gray’s reaction.
Charlie pulled away. “You wait right here.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
Charlie wrapped Jonas’s wrists carefully with silk rope, looping around them several times, before securing them to the headboard. Then the spreader bar went on, holding Jonas’s knees wide apart. Without his hands tied to it, he was allowed some movement. Charlie could let him rest his feet on the bed, or he could push the bar toward Jonas’s chest, lifting his hips and ass into the air.
Next, Charlie pulled out the smooth set of sounding rods. He spent a few minutes getting everything set up—the rods, the gloves, the lube—and washing his hands and the head of Jonas’s cock. This time, Jonas didn’t seem to find being wiped with the washcloth as uncomfortable as he had before. He didn’t close his eyes. He kept them glued to Charlie.
“I love being yours, Daddy.”
Charlie’s chest swelled. He loved when Jonas called him that. It wasn’t just a random sexual kink. Not the way Jonas used it. And in Charlie’s mind, it carried different connotations than “sir” or “master.” A master might own, but a daddy protected and nurtured. A master might demand, but a daddy provided. A daddy was a caretaker, and that was exactly what Charlie had always been, with friends, strangers, and lovers alike.
A caretaker, and a giver.
It fit him sexually too. His friends each had their own turn-ons. Gray loved inflicting pain, maybe more than he loved sex. Phil expected his partner to submit to him in every way. Warren liked using force to take what he wanted. But Charlie wanted only to give. He loved testing how far he could push his partners—how many times he could take them to the edge of orgasm—before pulling back. He loved giving and giving and giving some more until his partner could only whimper and beg for relief. He liked exploring how certain types of pleasure could make a man crazy and desperate, while others could make them so limp with desire they could hardly move. The day he’d massaged Jonas had been one of the biggest turn-ons Charlie had experienced in years. And now he had Jonas helpless before him once again, ready for all the pleasure Charlie could think to unleash on him.
“Practice your breathing,” Charlie told him. “Like I taught you.”
“You want me to