long black hair was splayed out on her pillow, her arms were limp by her side. I wanted to hold her hand. But they hands were covered in bandages. “I stayed with her,” Ash said. He stood on the other side of the bed. “I was staying with her until you got here.” He put his hands in his pockets, head bowed. “They said the baby…” Ash cleared his throat. “They said it was good. That y’all were lucky. It’s still okay. So is Madds.” My eyes moved to Maddie’s stomach. It was getting bigger. The bump showed under the sheet.
The baby was alive… Maddie was alive.
I knew it wouldn’t be for long. I would kill them somehow. I always did.
“Ash?” AK’s voice came from the doorway. “Why don’t you give Flame some time with Madds alone?” Ash walked around the bed and stopped beside me. I tensed, waiting for him to tell me I was fucking up, that I was evil and was gonna hurt Maddie and the baby with my flames. But he didn’t say anything. Instead he left the room. The door shut behind him. I could hear myself breathing. The beeps from the machines hurt my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, then looked down at Maddie. I fucking froze when her hand moved.
“Maddie?” I rasped. My chest was tight, and my cheeks started getting wet. “Maddie?” I said again. But she didn’t open her eyes. I reached out my hand for hers but stopped before I touched her. I pulled back my hand and dropped to my knees. My forehead pressed on the edge of mattress. I felt my throat start to close, like someone was strangling me. “Maddie…” I said, trying to fucking speak. “Wake up… you need to wake up.” I looked up, but she didn’t wake. I wanted to feel her fingers around mine. I wanted to hear her sing “This little light of mine.” I laid my hand next to hers, but they never touched. I couldn’t let them touch.
“I’m sorry,” I said. The wetness from my cheeks were salty when they hit my mouth. “This is my fault.” I stared at my hand next to Maddie’s. Hers would feel so soft. She had really soft hands. I thought back to the first time she touched me. To when her little finger touched mine.
I’d been expecting to hurt her ever since, waiting for the evil to break through the calmness she’d brought. Waiting for the demons to come back and take control of me. She told me that I wouldn’t ever harm her, but I’d known I would. Eventually, I always did. I wasn’t allowed to love. Anyone I did love, I destroyed. I was destroying her and our baby. The time had come. “You were wrong, Maddie,” I said and watched our hands beside each other. I needed to touch her. Just one more time. “The flames hurt you.” I swallowed, trying to stop invisible claws from choking me. They never let go. I was being punished, punished for hurting Maddie and the baby. “I can’t touch you, Maddie.” I eventually pulled back my hand and dug my nails into my arm. The blood trickled down my arms. It was poison. Venom, like the snakes had in my poppa’s church. When they recognized me as evil too. “I need to save you and the baby. The flames… I won’t kill you. I need you. You can’t die.”
I lifted myself to the chair beside the bed and watched her. She was so beautiful. But I would never touch her again. She couldn’t touch me either. I wouldn’t see her die. Pulling out my knife, I felt the sin, the flames rising higher inside me. Felt them taking over. Staring at Maddie, I sliced the knife into my arms, releasing the flames. But I felt them taking control, felt the darkness coming back. They were getting stronger than ever before. Growing in strength. But no matter what, I wouldn’t let them get Maddie and the baby.
I’d die first.
Chapter Five
Flame
Behind me, the door opened.
“Flame?” I didn’t take my eyes off Maddie. She hadn’t woken up yet. Nurses and doctors had come and gone. I didn’t know how much time had passed since I’d come in—days I thought. I didn’t sleep. I watched everyone who had touched her. No one was fucking with her. “Hell, brother.” AK came over to speak to me. He bent down. I flicked my eyes to him. He held