she’s alive.”
I fought against the urge to kill. I needed to feel pain. My blood sang for someone’s pain. I needed to calm the flames. Maddie calmed the flames, but she wasn’t here. She was in hospital. She was away from me.
I saw a knife on AK’s seat beside Viking. Stealing it, I quickly sliced the tip down my arm. In seconds, the flames escaped, and I could breathe. I could fucking breathe. I felt my blood run down my arm and drop to my thighs. My body cooled, not by much, but enough to look at Vike and AK. “You’re not lying?” I asked through gritted teeth. I looked down at the blade in my hand. It felt good there. I hadn’t cut my skin for so long. I liked it. I needed it. I fucking craved it.
“Brother, I promise. She’s up there,” AK said, pointing to the hospital. “She’s waiting for you.”
“I touched you, brother. I choked you out so she could be saved. Rider had to sedate you.” Viking sat up straighter in his seat. I stared down at the blood painting my skin. It was red. Like normal blood. But I knew there were flames hidden inside. “I had no other choice. You fucking need her. I had to let them save her, and I’d do it again if it had to.”
I breathed through my nose trying like fuck to keep from slitting his throat. It would be so easy. One swipe over his skin. “I need to see her. I need to fucking see her.” Don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt him, I told myself. He’s your best friend. I studied my bloodied skin. It was blackened with smoke. Smoke from the flames in the clubhouse. I hissed when I remembered Maddie on the floor of the clubhouse, flames all around her. I needed to see her. Everything would be better if I saw her. If she smiled.
“Listen,” AK said. My legs wouldn’t keep still. I needed to get in that fucking hospital, needed out of the truck and get to my wife. “Her sisters are with her. She’s not alone. They all had to come here too to be checked out for smoke inhalation. Phebe’s inside too, waiting for me. It was only Madds who was hurt badly enough that she needs to stay.” It was me. It was happening. I was finally killing her too. I’d known it would come eventually. Poppa and Pastor Hughes had told me I would hurt everyone. Maddie… the baby… my mama… Isaiah… “She’s stable.” AK said, but I could barely hear him over my Poppa’s voice. You’re a born sinner, boy. You’ll damn everyone you love. “Flame!” I lifted my head to listen to AK. “The baby is alive. Your kid is okay. They are monitoring them both.” My hands slipped into my hair. I held back a roar. The baby wasn’t dead. Maddie wasn’t dead. “Maddie hasn’t woken up yet. They’re keeping her under sedation while they treat her.”
“I need to see her.”
Viking rubbed his throat. It was red and marked from my hands. I had burned him. That was what the flames could do. I dropped my eyes to my hands. They would hurt Maddie too. They would brand her with my evil too, mark her pale skin.
Viking’s voice was rough when he spoke. “You need to keep calm when we go in. We can’t pay all these fuckers off. You go nuclear, you’ll be thrown out or arrested.” My muscles locked. “They’ll be giving her medication. Examining her. They’ll be people touching her.”
“No one will touch her,” I snarled, just needing to get the fuck from the truck and see her. I needed to bring her home. Take her back to our cabin where no fucker could hurt her. Where I couldn’t hurt her either. Where I could protect her and the baby. Keep them safe. They didn’t need to be in this place.
“Flame. They have to. Maddie needs you to keep your shit together right now. Okay? You wanna stay with her? You’ll fucking shut up and not react when the doctors are helping keep her and your kid alive.”
“You want her to live?” AK said. “Then let them help.”
“She can’t die,” I rasped. Some of the anger seeped from my body at the thought of Maddie dead. The blood dripped from my arms keeping some of the flames back.
“Then don’t react.” His eyes dropped to my arm. “Let’s go. Most of the