wave and head inside. When I get into the elevator, Sam is right behind me.
“So how was it?”
“Hard.” I don’t bother lying to him. “A really old man passed me at one point. He probably thought I was having a heart attack.” I wrinkle my nose.
“Awesome.” He laughs and I sigh, not nearly as quietly as I should.
It’s been almost a year since I had sex and if it were up to my libido, Sam would be pressed against the wall of the elevator with me mauling his—whoa, girl!
He’s staring at me while I talk myself off the horny ledge I seem to be stuck on. It’s so awkward.
“Have dinner with me,” he blurts.
“Okay,” I answer before I think about it. What have I done? “Uhm—”
“Shower and come over. I’ll make something simple.”
“Cool.” Cool, cool, cool, cool. God help me.
“Okay.” He stands a bit taller and beams, making me realize what that weird Arthur thing was. He ditched Sam so we could be alone and he could ask me out.
A shiver washes over me.
“You cold now?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I admit.
“I get cold after I run too.” Finally, he says something stupid, and I feel much better about my lameness. I’m making a cool guy like Sam nervous.
The elevator doors open and we walk down the hall, not saying anything.
I pause at my door and think before speaking this time, “You know what, I forgot—”
“You have a thing,” he says.
“I—I do. Rain check?” I ask.
“Absolutely.” He’s staring at me but I’m avoiding eye contact. I have a bad feeling what I’ll find.
“Night.” I weirdly wave in the least coordinated way and struggle with my key.
“Night,” he says as I get the door open.
Romeo comes running.
But there’s no chance to snuggle or kiss him. I close the door and lean against it.
Shit!
Double shit!
Chapter 38
October 31
The dizzy spell lasts longer than I expect and I find myself on the toilet so long Shawnee comes and bangs on the door of the bathroom. “Did you die in there?”
“No.” I say with a laugh. “Be right out.”
I don’t have the spells often, but when I do, they are fairly draining. I end up sleeping a lot. Something I’m only getting away with not telling my friends and family about because of the elections and plague that have everyone busy and bothered.
But the time is coming to tell them all. I can’t keep this to myself much longer. Though I don’t know how to, beyond inviting them to visit me in the hospital one at a time when I have the surgery. Dates have been pushed back again, buying me a bit of time.
It takes effort to pull myself together and leave the bathroom.
Shawnee doesn’t notice me coming back into the living room. Her eyes are stuck on her phone.
“What is it?” I ask, seeing her expression filled with shock and not the good kind.
“No—nothing.” She puts the phone away.
“Just tell me,” I demand.
Her eyes dart around the room. “Can’t you simply trust me that you don’t want to see this?”
“Oh my God, give me the phone.” I hold a hand out, expectantly.
“You’re going to regret looking.” She groans but passes it over.
I gasp when I see it. A stunning diamond ring on one hand holding a pregnancy test that’s positive. A pretty turquoise ring is on the other hand. The tagline is “three months today.”
“Fuck off,” I whisper. Shawnee doesn’t realize I’m speaking to God.
“I know, I can’t believe that asshole. Actually, I can. He’s such a douchebag.”
A minute later my phone rings. It’s Brent.
“Did you see?” he asks before I can greet him. “A fucking kid? Is this a joke? That son of a bitch told me he was never having kids, and he was going to slowly wait it out until you eventually gave up!”
The words add acid to the wound in my aching heart.
“And she never wanted kids! At least it makes sense now why they’re engaged. I would bet anything that she has trapped him with this. He broke up with her during the quarantine, and she knew I would never take her back. So she roped him in and has trapped him with a baby!” His rant is crazed but makes perfect sense.
My heart rate rises, causing the thumping in my head to become so loud I hardly hear Brent shouting over my muddled thoughts.
“She never wanted kids either—!”
He’s having a baby with her?
“This is absolute bullshit—!”
The baby I wanted so badly for a decade he’s having with her after