I say.
"Perhaps," Yaksha says again.
"What does this dream mean?" I ask.
"I was hoping you could tell me, Sita."
"What can I tell you? I don't know your mind."
"But you do. It is the same as yours."
"No."
"Yes. How else could I know your mind?"
I tremble. His voice has changed. He is alert, he always was, to everything that was happening around him. I was a fool to think I could trick him. Yet I do not reach for the metal rod that will detonate the bomb. I try to play the fool a little longer. I speak.
"Maybe your dream means that if we stay on earth,
and once more multiply, then we will make a wasteland of this world."
"How would we multiply this late in the game?" he asks. "I told you you can have no children. Krishna told you something similar." It is his turn to lean forward. "What else did he tell you, Sita?"
"Nothing."
"You are lying."
"No."
"Yes." With his left hand he reaches for the burning fuse, his fingers hovering over the sparks as if he intends to crush them. Yet he lets the countdown continue. "You cannot trick me."
"And how do I trick you, Yaksha?"
"You are not waiting to die. I see it in your eyes."
"Really?"
"They are not like my eyes."
"You are a vampire," I say. Casually, as if I am stretching, I move my hand toward the lamp stand. "You can't look in a mirror. There would be nothing there. What do you know about your own eyes?" I joke, of course. I am one bundle of laughs.
He smiles. "I am happy to see time has not destroyed your wit. I hope it has not destroyed your reason. You are quick. I am quicker. You can do nothing that I cannot stop." He pauses. "I suggest you stop."
My hand freezes in midair. Damn, I think. He knows, of course he knows.
"I cannot remember what he said," I say.
"Your memory is perfect, as is mine."
"Then you tell me what he said."
"I cannot. He whispered in your ear. He did that so that I would not hear. He knew I was listening, even though I was lying there with the venom in my veins. Yes, I heard your original vow to him. But he did not want me to hear the last part. He would have had his reasons, I'm sure, but the time for those reasons must be past. We are both going to die in a few seconds. Did he make you take a second vow?"
The fuse burns.
"No."
Yaksha sits up. "Did he say anything about me?"
Shorter and shorter it burns.
"No!"
"Why won't you answer my question?"
The truth bursts out of me. I have wanted to say it for so long. "Because I hate you!"
"Why?"
"Because you stole away my love, my Rama and Lalita. You steal my love away now, when I have finally found it again. I will hate you for eternity, and if that is not enough to stop you from being in his grace, then I will hate him as well." I point to Ray. "Let him go. Let him live."
Yaksha is surprised. I have stunned the devil. "You love him. You love him more than your own life."
There is only pain in my chest. The fourth center, the fourth note. It is as if it is off key. "Yes."
Yaksha's tone softens. "Did he tell you something about love?"
I nod, weeping, I feel so helpless. "Yes."
"What did he tell you?"
"He said, where there is love, there is my grace." The sound of his flute is too far away. There is no time to be grateful for what I have been given in my long life. I feel as if I will choke on my grief. I can only see Ray, my lover, my child, all the years he will be denied. He looks at me with such trusting eyes, as if somehow I will still manage to save him. "He told me to remember that."
"He told me the same thing." Yaksha pauses to wonder. "It must be true." He adds casually, "You and your friend can go."
I look up. "What?"
"You broke your vow because you love this young man. It is the only reason you broke it. You must still have Krishna's grace. You only became a vampire to protect Rama and your child. You must have had his grace from the beginning. That is why he showed you such kindness. I did not see that till now.'I cannot harm you. He would not wish me to." Yaksha glances at the burning fuse. "You had better hurry."
The sparks of the short fuse are like the final sands of an hourglass.
I grab Ray's hand and leap up and pull him toward
the front door. I do not open the door with my hand. I kick it open; the wrong way. The hinges rupture, the wood splinters. The night air is open before us. I shove Ray out ahead of me.
"Run!" I shout.
"But--"
"Run!"
He hears me, finally, and dashes for the trees. I turn, I don't know why. The chase is over and the race is won. There is no reason to tempt fate. What I do now, it is the most foolish act of my life. I stride back into the living room. Yaksha stares out at the dark sea. I stand behind him.
"You have ten seconds," he says.
"Hate and fear and love are all in the heart. I felt that when he played his flute." I touch his shoulder. "I don't just hate you. I didn't just fear you."
He turns and looks at me. He smiles; he always had a devilish grin.
"I know that, Sita," he says. "Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
I leap for the front door. I am outside, thirty feet off the front porch, when the bombs go off. The power of the shock wave is extraordinary even for me to absorb. It lifts me up, and for a few moments it is as if I can fly. But it does not set me down softly. At one point in my trajectory fate makes me a marksman's prized bird. An object hot and sharp pierces me from behind.
It goes through my heart. A stake.
I land in a ball of agony. The night burns behind me. My blood sears as it pours from the wound in my chest. Ray is beside me, asking me what he should do. I writhe in the dirt, my fingers clawing into the earth. But I do not want to go into the ground, no, not after walking on it for so long. I try to get the words out--it is not easy. I see I have been impaled by the splintered leg of my piano bench.
"Pull it out," I gasp.
"The stick?" It is the first stupid thing I have heard Ray say.
I turn my front to him. "Yes."
Ray grabs the end of the leg. The wood is literally flaming, although it has passed through my body. He yanks hard. The stick breaks; he has got half of it. The other half is still in my body. Too bad for me. I close my eyes for an instant and see a million red stars. I blink and they explode as if the universe has ended. There remains only red light everywhere. The color of sunset, the color of blood. I find myself settling onto my back. My head rolls to one side. Cool mud touches my cheek. It warms as my blood pours from my mouth and puddles around my head. A red stain, almost black in the fiery night, spreads down my beautiful blond hair. Ray weeps. I look at him with such love I honestly feel I see Krishna's face.
It is not the worst way to die.
"Love you," I whisper.
He hugs me. "I love you, Sita."
So much love, I think as I close my eyes and the pain recedes. There must be so much grace, so much protection for me if Krishna meant what he said. Of course I believe he meant it. I do believe in miracles.
I wonder if I will die, after all.
TO BE CONTINUED...